Home -

I am so sorry we got home last friday - and a week later this is the first day I can even think lol

We designed and had these shorts made last summer to eventually announce our adoption.  In addition for an older boy joining 6 other kids we thought they were the perfect way to have him join our family.

So we flew from Guangzhou to Beijing to Houston to Colorado Springs.  So in Houston I had the boys change into their purple shirts.

It was amazing to round the corner at the airport and see a sea of purple shirts, barely held back by the "DO NOT CROSS THIS LINE" sign.  So excited to meet their new brother!

Morgan made him a hat

I loved that after the hugs and introducing - they turned around and started showing the numbers on their shirts.  I think this was especially important since Dawson is smaller than Cav who is 5.

It was so fun as we were meeting each other, we heard squeaky shoes.  Heehee our friend came to meet Dawson and brought balloons YEAH!! 

He did great on the flight, Air China was great AND Houston has the best immigration area of all the airports we have flown through!!

Waiting for TA

Some TA"s have been coming in 4 days - some in weeks and there seems to be a computer glitch affecting LOA's so this momma worries that will also affect TA's

I am resting in the Lord that His timing is perfect.

I however think going over spring break would be perfect LOL!  So perfect in fact that I have not planned a SINGLE thing to do that week - 3/24.

It is now the 10th,
In my mind I thought tomorrow would really be the last day we could get TA to travel for a 3/24 gotcha.

I just checked Tao's timeline to the right and realized -

NOPE - I have until the 14th - because one insane trip across the world means I CAN do it again!

And lucky me - my husband is insisting on cooking form all the old stuff in the freezers and fridge heehee (poor kids LOL).

Actually the man is pretty creative and they usually don't mind his concoctions - and at this point that means I don't have to make any meals ahead.

Because those who have done this - I am not getting much done.

I check my email,
I check my cell phone,
I RUN each time a phone rings - even if I am not home.
I check and recheck the home phone JUST ENCASE they called there and not my cell.

Yeah, it's all quite productive in getting the other things done I need to do

Like PACK,
Which BTW - I prefer traveling in winter - because this March - April thing is killing me - do I bring long sleeve (which most likely won't fit Dawson because of his dwarfism) or short sleeve because for us 68 degrees is HOT!  What about pants vs shorts - can they even wear shorts ugh.

And this Colorado girl really does not do well in humidity.

THe PLUS is I won't be wearing my summer clothes here so you would think I would get my rear in gear and pack!

As for our boy - we are praying his heart is softening towards our family.  We know from our experience with Cav to expect the worst.  THis is why I am bringing BRahm with me.  I know 11 year old boys - they like 2 things - gross and video games.  Mom is not so good at either but a particular 7 year old IS!!

Also knowing Dawson is delayed because of his time in the orphanage I am guessing they will be close in age mentally.

Again I am fully aware they might hate each other and praying that they will be instant buds.

My biggest fear is Dawson HAS to agree tot he adoption - he HAS to sign the paperwork.  Although I think this is probably mentally very good for him, and gives him a say - I have hear enough stories of kids backing out at the last minute.

We have been assured he wants to be adopted.  I trust our agency in this, and more importantly I am trusting that this is the journey God wants us to go on.

So we are constantly in prayer for his little heart.

We pray his transition will be as easy and seamless as this little guy.  Every night he prayers for his Dawson  - Ma - Dawson lub me!   We are continually prepping him that I will talk to him on the computer but he needs to stay here to help his Dolly (that's what he calls his big old daddy LOL!)

Fortune Cookie

FeiFei is HOME!

Apparently she woke up this morning and told Daddy she was going home - it was 6 AM!  The Dr and his entourage came in and she told him the same exact thing.  That princess of ours!  He said after you poopy (making sure all of her spinal nerves were functioning).  She didn't believe him, so the nurse and another Dr told her the same thing.  Then Daddy was smart enough to call me.  He said after we hung up she said she needed down and of she went to the bathroom!

Have I mentioned this girl LOVES food.  They got home around lunch time and we treated her to PF Chang's.  (Yeah, I know what your thinking but she really was doing great!)

I'll tell you about that in a sec but first let me tell you that I jsut LOVE my big kids.  Truly they were all thrilled that she came to pickup (as did Daddy!) By that time she was starting fade so we held her but man were they excited.  Even Brahm came running across the school yard.  Her friends, and teacher also excited!

Our big boy came home from football and pushed past me "Where's Fei"

Luckily, I had my phone in hand!

Brahm sat with her all afternoon and played iPad and squinkies

Friends sent her a special treat ( can you see how she guards her neck)

We are trying to have her take it easy, but truly this is hard when she was raised NOT to be different.

Even when we went outside she was upset that she couldn't.  

Please pray for her heart over the next few days!

Ok and now onto PF Chang's ~ this was my fortune LOL!

Not for a minute do I think that this is NOT a Godwink!

I had totally missed that we had been CABLED!!  I sent it to our agency which was closed already but we should be onto our Article 5 soon!  Never a dull moment around her!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your prayers!  We truly stormed heaven with all of the continual prayers AND that is the only reason to explain how both of our kids came home jsut 2 days after MAJOR, MAJOR surgery!

Owl Mail

I had another rough day yesterday.  I can't even pinpoint why, but I have gotten to the point that reading facebook jsut puts me in a - feel sorry for myself mood.  We were DTC on May 30th, it then took 3 weeks to be LID (6/20)  this is normally 1 week.  The whole summer and nothing on Griffin.  People are getting close to travel that sent their Dossiers at the same time.  Now don't get me wrong - I am thrilled for each one of my friends - but it is jsut hard.

Anyhow, I got home last night from a Women's Ministry meeting (which did my soul good!) and realized I needed to change the little piece of paper I have been using to keep track of dates.

Instead of counting each day as it passed, I would circle 120 days from LID and if our LOA came before that I figured I would be thrilled.

As I was circling October 18th,

I also thought I should circle 120 days from our RFE date

SO I circled November 15th (oddly enough the same day I originally was trying to beat since that was when our visa's from our last trip are good until)

You know it did my soul good to realize that even worst case scenerio we would have the baby home by the beginning of 2013.

 The angst was gone.

Now I wish that was the whole story but then the title would make no sense LOL!

As we were getting ready for bed the dogs lost their mind.  We have a can't shut up Collie and a 3 lb Yorkie.  I know if I hear the lazy ole Yorkie there is something trying to get our chickens.

We figured it was the stinking Husky or Coyotes again so I sent hubby out - cuz . . . well, you know!!

He was gone a long time, so I thought I would see what the commotion was.

As I walked out I heard the strangest thing.

For a minute I thought it was a really loud Dove (we have tons at our house which I love!)

Nope, it was an OWL!

We live in Colorado, we have lived here for 30 years and I can NOT ever remember seeing an OWL!!

AND he was huge.

When I woke this morning it dawned on me that either this was a fabulous sighting or really bad (thinking of Fei's surgery in particular).

As I was googling owl's and symbolism my cell rang!

OWLS ARE VERY, VERY GOOD!

Griffin Taomega born 5/13/10 - 

we will be there soon sweet angel!

Anyhow, I jsut got home from drop off and walked into my office.  I had to laugh.  What was sitting there?  The gorgeous OWL purse I won from my friend Tracey's auction!  God has giving me winks all along I just had no idea what they meant!

And since I am pretty vocal about how bad our last agency was, I want to also be sure to say how incredibly magnificent our new agency is.  Apparently our NEW references were misplaced in Chin@ and Madison sent their in country rep to check on it several times.  After talking to them they really went to bat for us.  They are truly about the kids!

Wrong Line

I think I have resigned myself to being in the long line for LOA's.
I am standing here with my cart full,
of cute baby clothes,
hopes and dreams,
heck I even made dinner tonight for SIX kids.

Um, hello . . . one is eating breakfast with his foster family today LOL!
I swore I wouldn't be like this,

Yeah, right
I jump at ever phone call,
I hate leaving the house
jsut encase I MISS the call.

You know the one from the agency,
who I am sure will overnight my package even if I don't talk to them.
Of course they have EVERY number I have access to.
PLUS, I have email on my phone.

Even my kids (meaning my daughter)
asks several times a day if we got the letter yet.
Just encase in my excitement I forget to tell her.

And the sane part of myself,
realizes this is THE dumbest thing for me to be worrying about!
Really, I mean we have a cranial surgery,
and have to find some legs,
and possibly teach one little boy to walk,
and my dang kids talked me into playing,
football,
lacrosse,
football,
lacrosse,
volleyball,

oh and did I mention
LACROSSE UGH!

Yep, 3 kids playing on SIX TEAMS!
CAN you say FREAKIN CHAOS!

OK, see I knew you would make me feel better.
The last thing I need right now is to leave for China,

BUT oh do my arms ache to hold my baby.
Who my husband reminds me is no longer a baby and is very worried about the update we got (in March) particularly this statement!

"If he gets mad, he will sleep on the floor and roll over. The foster parents need to be patient to deal with it."
 
Yep, he will fit in perfectly!!

Pure Joy

8 months.

Although we know it takes 9 months to create a baby,

We had no idea it would take about the same time to heal a heart, and free a soul

Can you feel his peace, 

his happiness, 

this boy of ours who feared the outside, 

and screamed at the plants,

ok he jsut screamed,

and cried,

and hit.

Yep, this pretty much summed up our time in China

 (doesn't he look like such a baby here and I don't mean cry baby LOL!).

Now he is a brother,

A son,

A friend,

He is nourished,

strong,

healthy,

confident,

He is loved!

And we can't forget our gorgeous princess!

SHUT. UP. . . stupid people

Heehee got your attention!

TO bad I got the attention of the kindest, nicest and most supportive people who read this blog o' mine.

School started on Wednesday and I have been fielding stupid comments from idiot adults for a week.

Really People, I mean really!

Please when you look at our little guy,
instead of tell me what an stupid idea our sons walking cup is -
congratulate him on making mom find a way to make him mobile on his healing stubbie.

We got the great cup idea from a bloggy friend!

Congratulate him on relearning to walk, with a new center of balance

Instead of commenting on how sad it is that he has to use a wheelchair
watch him race around for this first time in his life,
watch mom in a panic as he races down a hill,
the freedom of movement for the first time in his life.

Instead of mentioning how large my daughters head is,
mention how beautiful her smile is,

how she loves to go to school.
recognize how far she has come, how much change she has experienced
and still she smiles and meets every new challenge with grace. 

Instead of whispering to your friend (adult mind you) in a crowded area
and pointing at my children,
come meet them,
and be amazed by how wonderfully normal they are.

Cav telling you he will walk AND run!

Instead of questioning why we would have so many kids
see God's glory
and the amazing transformation he has produced in all of us.

I walked out of the store today and ran right into this -
 I swear the clouds looked like China before I got to the car and my camera!

It Happened {Prayers}

We have now been home 7 months.

I had read that things like this happen but I didn't know how shocking and heartbreaking it actually could be.

Let me paint the picture.

Big boy is gone, which left 4 kiddos home.

All but Cav have summer camp this week,
so we have to hurry out the door even though it is summer - you know how it goes!

Everyone trying to get breakfast and clothes on.

Basically, it's mass chaos.

All of sudden we hear the unmistakeable sound of FeiFei crying.

She has a heartbreaking wrenching sound when she cries.  We have only heard it a few times, but the first night she came to us the sound became seared into my mind.

We thought she was hurt, but there she sat at the kitchen table, crying and eating her cereal.

Finally, she said "My China Momma not coming to get me!"  "You are my family"

Ugh stab to my heart.

7 months this sweet girl of ours has been 'on vacation' with our family, waiting for her China family to come get here.

7 months she has waited and then in the chaos of an ordinary morning she realized reality.

7 months we have fallen in love with her, and still her heart is in China.

We did talk and told her how much her China Momma loves her - in fact so much I don't think they prepared our FeiFei for the adoption.  All I know was that our sweet girl was supposedly sent back to the orphanage in September.  Apparently it was such a disruption they sent her back to her foster family until the morning she came to us in December with her bags full of candy, vitamins and food.

We also told her that just like we adopted Cav so he could see the Dr and have a future - we did the same for her.  Sometimes the words will just not come as easily I hope.

Please would you pray for our daughter's heart.

Can you see the underlying sadness in her eyes?

And just because we deal with stress through laughter.  We all thought it was hysterical that she said "You are my family" like are you kidding me - couldn't I have at least been sent to a normal, quiet family LOL!!

Now don't despair to much she is still the sweetest and happiest little thing.  In fact, she is so apply compared to other children we really have to keep an eye on her.

Bows and Boredom

Summer vacation is killing this little girl of ours.  

Now let me preface this by saying that on her absolute worst day (can I think of even a handful um not really) she is still equivalent to most people's "normal"!

We have spent days swimming, playing and the boys doing her hair!! 

 It has been great for their relationship building 

BUT

we have noticed more and more issues with her not following directions, understanding what we are saying etc.

I know it's only been 6 mos

BUT

she was backsliding and it worried me.

Then, I discussed my fears with Mr Wonderful

"She needs the routine of school"

REALLY?

Yeah, REALLY!

Her preschool has a summer camp 3 days a week - she started today and was back to her old self mostly.

For a child who used to go to school twice a day, summer break is just NOT an option.

The Babies Name!

Did you see it in my post yesterday?

I think we have finally come to an agreement on what we will name this little guy!

Let me start with the fact that this is NO small feat!

My husband - whom I love to death- just kills me when it comes to names.

I had a list of 30 names all beginning with T where we could keep Tao as his nickname

NO,
NO,
No,
and wait
NO!!

His name he threw out - wait for it, wait for it,

GOLIATH!?!?

REally? he is a dwarf - you can NOT name a child who you KNOW is a dwarf - Goliath!

More names, more arguing, more stress on my part - names are a huge thing for me.

I was sure we were supposed to use a Biblical name

Hmmm, Solomon - I liked Solomon all day long - until Mr wonderful came home from work LOL!

FInally, he threw out the name Griffin,

Hmmm, I thought - let me google it.

I like the nickname +
It sounds pretty good +
It fits with our other kids' names - I think +
 and then I found this

"The griffin's dual nature led it to be associated with Jesus Christ, God and man, king of heaven and earth. The eagle half of the griffin signified Christ's divinity and the lion half represented His humanity. Because no one could block the path of a griffin, this creature was especially associated with that passage in the Gospel which records Christ's marvelous passage through the crowd at Nazareth who were determined to throw Him off a cliff. [Luke 4:28-30] During the Middle Ages, griffins were symbols of Christ's resurrection. The strength of the lion and the wisdom of the eagle combined in the griffin symbolized the strength and wisdom of God."


PERFECT!!

and the nickname!

Ugh as for a middle name - I'm thinking maybe we will just stick with Griffen ZiTao and skip the divorce LOL!

Sad Hugs

I just have to say that my heart aches.

For a little boy,

Who has been with us for over six months,

He has learned a new language,

He has had surgery and lost his legs but gained a future,

He loves to go outside and play,

He has learned to play with his siblings,

He has even learned to come up to me on his own and say "I lug you mommy"

Truly, he has learned so much and come so far,

But still he looks at me with his dark eyes,
and you can see the confusion,
when I try to hold and rock him.

Oh such an intense pain to this momma heart - so many layers still to go.

Reeling

I'm just gonna say it . . . I am tired, my heart hurts for those around us

BUT

I am also so incredibly thrilled to live here.  

For you see there is BEAUTY even in the midst of the most horrific storm.

(taken this after noon of Pikes Peak and all the smoke )

I came to the realization last night that if hour home was going to go - I might as well donate most of our food to Care & Share.  So the kids and I packed up our entire Yukon XL with food including cans, popcorn, drinks, toiletries, paper towels, toilet paper . . . basically all of our extra supplies.

What happens if our home does NOT burn?

There are 32,500 people evacuated from their homes.

This is what last night looked like (I gotta figure out how to photograph at nights)

And this morning we woke up to find a whole neighborhood gone.

(not my photo)

We are still in a holding pattern, and in shock for this city that we love so much.  Please pray for those around us.  We live in an incredible city - care & share had a line of 100 cars dropping of items when I went!!

And as an additional punch in the gut - we found out our LID . . .  you know for the paperwork we sent to China on 5/30 . . . Yeah we found out it was 6/20?!?!  On our Facebook group there were people DTC on 5/20 with a LID of 5/21.  Talk about wanting to just sit down and cry.

Sunday Snapshot - awesome Daddy

(Now let me preface this post with the fact that this fabulous man of mine took the littles to get their haircut while I ran the biggers to their camps for next week.  Ummm, THIS picture was taken 2 hours after the ones below!  Yeah, our little evil genius talked his kind hearted daddy into something he has wanted for years LOL!  And you jsut gotta love a man who is willing to survive the wrath of a momma for allowing not jsut Brahm get a mohawk but for him to order one for his brother LOL!)

Why we love daddy!

You gotta love a man who never wanted children and now almost has a half dozen.

Tristan - "He takes me to the gym, and helps me to get better"

Morgan - "With everything going on, he still has time for us"

Brahm - "He gets me pop"

FeiFei - "He makes breakfast"

 Cav - he loves Daddy "he-cuz" perfect!

This man of mine who works 6 days a week (for as long as I can remember), who didn't want kids and most definately didn't want to adopt, is one of the most incredible dad's I know.  Happy Father's Day honey!