Halloween catch up

Not sure if JBF - just between friends - sale is national but man I love that sale!!  Sell old items, barter for an early shopping pass and buy amazing items!!

Besides getting lots of school uniforms for our kiddos attending the Mandarin immersion school - I found all of these except Fei's (well she got a beautiful snow white costume but that didn't meet the theme.)

Heehee Dawson's English teacher pulled me aside a few days before Halloween as he told her we made him a potato LOL!

And Morgan went with all of her friends - who were all princess's.  I just couldn't see spending tons of money and time making a ball gown she would wear once so this was our compromise - Belle before!

Halloween was a crazy day - as our family has gotten bigger, I have had to change how I do things.  

I have backed down to being room mom for only one class. 

 I was super excited to help out my friend whose daughter is in the am class because they were IN CHINA getting their son!!  So two parties for preschool meant missing the harvest fest at the mandarin school but we sent "pumpkin" cups made from butterscotch pudding and green airheads for stems (apparently I didn't get an pics LOL!)

 Tao and Cav's class got mummies made from squeezey apple sauce and were super cute 

We also changed up how we did Halloween - I know horrors.  Our oldest had a football game at 7 pm (2 hours away)  In addition, because we have so many food and begging issues with Cav and Fei we thought having them go to doors beg for food and get candy was … well. . . insane.

So I got them pizza, made them each up a treat basket with candy, bracelets, pencils etc and they got a NEW movie.  Plus kettle corn because our Chinese kids especially LOVE popcorn LOL!

It was a crazy hard decision but ultimately they loved it, we got to go to the game and watch our oldest, and Brahm got to be ball boy for the varsity game!

Tak is #53!

THe Mailbox

It was a beautiful weekend finally here in Colorado - so we got busy with yard work and replacing our mailbox - ladies it only takes the mail lady reminding your husband that the door is falling off to light that fire LOL.

In all fairness, we live on a curve. . . the mailbox is at the top of the curve. . . NO WAY was I gonna let him change it out when I was in the adoption process for fear I might miss a very important letter LOL!

So there is sat in it's very tattered shape, hanging by one hinge, barely standing and dented.

But yesterday he came home with a supposed indestructible new mailbox and wood to replace the entire thing!!

When it's nice out the kids go outside - they are loud, and full of energy LOL!

But as I fiddled around inside the house, I remembered we have a new 11 year old.  He has gone so many years without a father teaching him about these things.  Although it would take longer, the life lessons for our boy would be invaluable.

(as a disclaimer, we never allow the kids outside of the gate because of said curve and we live kind of in the country so there are no sidewalks)

Our biggest problem is - this new 11 year old is really little.  He is a solid and buff little dude but this was our first encounter of thinking things through as an adult little person.  Tools, well tools are made for men - who I swear must all be close to 6 feet.  How does a little do these things.  As I was filing away a note in my brain that he would need to have a good handy man - our biggest littles brain stormed themselves and used a little teamwork!

They dug, flattened, and scooped while the littles carted rocks over!

They did an amazing job ~ what a blessing it is for this boy to finally have a father!!

Language

I think the number one thing people ask us especially adopting an older child has been language.

Some people even use the lack of knowing another language as an excuse NOT to adopt.

I don't know Mandarin - although several of my kids have a knack for language I do not - thus the partially used rosetta stone sitting in my growing pile of good intentions!

AND for some reason people are under the impression that our son - who lived in an orphanage in basically podunk China knows English.  I know it's so bad - but I am sure I give them this look that says - really - really you can't be using up air to ask me this question.

But alas - the same question keeps coming.

SOOOOO, the answer is NO - I speak maybe 10 whole words of Chinese - I know 10 whole words of Chinese because

a.  it was the one word a particular child needed repeated the entree trip for my sanity
b. it's easy
c. my children learned it on said trips and kept correcting me in fits of laughter until I got it.

So here is how our day goes -
Good Morning,     Ma    Ma
Good Morning Dawson did you sleep well?
followed by this grunt that sounds like a baby dinosaur yawning.

Then I gesture shoveling food into my mouth
he smiles, and nods if he has already eaten (daddy makes the breakfast).

Then I point to the broom,
his teeth,
his shoes,
 and eventually his backpack before he leaves the house.

All this time the other kids are incessantly chattering away.

I get him from school (see below)
AND he smiles with a Hi,. . . .  Mama (although yesterday he called me mop lol)
I say my few pat words
Swayshowe - How or La  (school good or bad)
How.
Pengyo - How or La?
Shovel food into my mouth and do a thumbs up or down.

HMMMM, writing this I am thinking no wonder he looks at me like I am a dork LOL.

Luckily, he goes to a Mandarin immersion school, so the teachers all are from China and can speak to him for the most part -
Since I am ADHD today - his stinking teachers can't get he or she right either LOL

If we have issues at home, or questions about school, we go in with him and have them translate to him.

Also his ESL teacher works on him answering in English.

Anyhow, I write all this because I can see how having him home with me all day, with no one to translate would cause many of the frustrations that I hear about with older kids.  We do use the translated on the phone to get important facts across but my guess it's not always exactly what I am trying to say.  In addition, because of where he grew up - they have a very strong dialect (his Mandarin teacher told the principal he needed to work on his Mandarin heehee - she said no he needed to work on his English LOL!)

Dawson can read the translator but doesn't understand what the voice is saying much of the time.

As far as English - we have pulled out the preschool prep videos, the preschool apps on my phone and right now we are just working on letters.  My goal is to have him proficient in letters, sounds and beginning to blend by the time school starts next fall.

A summer home with our extroverts will hopefully help.

Petrified

First and foremost, and although I eluded to it, I did NOT mention how absolutely TERRIFIED I was to bring an 11 year old boy home.  We have so many struggles with Cav that I could NOT in my wildest imagination think about adding to that stress.  We were ultimately obedient to GOD but now I realize the whole time I was holding my breath, not even really looking forward to the next step in the process simply because it meant we were getting closer to D-Day (coined that in every sense of the negative image it brings up.)

Of course I am ashamed to admit it now.  We were faithful but not really joyous and definitely NOT trusting in God's plan that He cares about us - ME - as much as He cares about these kids.  It's with tears that I write these words now.  It is with tears that I think about this boy who so many passed over  in the SIX years he was available for adoption.  Because adopting an older boy from an orphanage only situation has to singly be one of the best things we have ever done PERIOD.

That doesn't take away from our other adoptions, that doesn't take away from our bio kids in the least - they are ALL treasures.  But Dawson - it's almost indescribable (I know really helpful to say on a blog LOL!)

I don't know if it was the months of fear,
I don't know if it was because we thought of turning away so many times,
I don't know if it is because he only had 2 1/2 more years before he turned 14
and became unadoptable,
forever lost, without a name, a family, a connection.
I don't know if it is how he embraces each new thing,
How he rolls the word mama around in his mouth,
trying it out, practicing it,
adding it a little to late to the few words he knows.

It's probably a combination of all these,
plus the bravery this child has shown in changing everything he has ever known,
and still wakes with a smile.
Playing silly word games with his new brothers Ha-zhu (baby)
back and forth until I want to poke my eyes out.
Trying new foods,
learning table manners,
taking on the chore of sweeping the kitchen
and starting at his brand new school.

Our communication is lacking,
words only spoken through a translator,
but still he lets us tousle his hair,
rub his back,
and smiles, oh the smiles.

This isn't a unicorn and rainbows story, I know we will have our struggles.  This is more of a story of redemption - of MY growth, of learning God loves me as much as my kids.  That God knows the plans he had for Dawson AND for our family.  Of the pit in my stomach to think of wanting to turn back,  - away - because I thought that would be easier.

Jeremiah 29:11

New International Version (NIV)
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Home -

I am so sorry we got home last friday - and a week later this is the first day I can even think lol

We designed and had these shorts made last summer to eventually announce our adoption.  In addition for an older boy joining 6 other kids we thought they were the perfect way to have him join our family.

So we flew from Guangzhou to Beijing to Houston to Colorado Springs.  So in Houston I had the boys change into their purple shirts.

It was amazing to round the corner at the airport and see a sea of purple shirts, barely held back by the "DO NOT CROSS THIS LINE" sign.  So excited to meet their new brother!

Morgan made him a hat

I loved that after the hugs and introducing - they turned around and started showing the numbers on their shirts.  I think this was especially important since Dawson is smaller than Cav who is 5.

It was so fun as we were meeting each other, we heard squeaky shoes.  Heehee our friend came to meet Dawson and brought balloons YEAH!! 

He did great on the flight, Air China was great AND Houston has the best immigration area of all the airports we have flown through!!

Marriott - china hotel executive suite

After being here 3 times I really think paying extra for the executive suite and thus larger bedroom is worth every penny.  We did stay for free with points and when booking this online I was given the option to upgrade for $50 for the studio or $65 for the 1 bedroom. I did look and the studio and 1 bedroom are basically the same size just with a wall between the bed and the living area instead of just the rotating big screen tv. 

This is where we put the rollaway but last year my oldest slept on the couch. 

Then there is a desk next to the bed and an office area we put our bags etc. I believe it is 400 yuan more for the studio and 500 for the 1 bedroom per night if you wait until check in. This does includes executive lounge privileges and breakfast buffet (not sure you get the buffet with just a points room)

The most important I think is try to get a room on 16,17 or 18rh floor. They are all connected to the lounge by a private stairway instead of the elevators. 

The executive suite is open all the time using your key and always has 7-up, Pepsi or Pepsi max (what china calls their diet Pepsi) look it says no sugar (only took me a week to figure that out lol!  Waters and then juice and coffee which you can make cappuccino and lattes. 

The can feels like it's dirty but after trying them all over I think this can must be made this way (I have tactile issues lol)

The executive lounge also offers breakfast buffet up there. The selection is primarily what is on the 2nd floor buffet but not as many choices of congee or the noodle soup station. For appt days and kids who are overwhelmed the executive lounge is a God send. 

There are atleast 5different sitting areas that we found the adoptive families congregated to atleast one especially in the evenings. The chairs are a little plush for kids but seem resilient and high hairs are available. 

The same amount of food is available from 5:30-7 (I think But maybe it's 7:30) each evening. We have always found enough things people will eat (I am the pickiest of the group) each night we have gone. They always have a chef at the grill and then the metal hot chafing dishes. Plus salad and fruit. 

And now don't think bad of me but it's worth the adult beverages alone. By evening I am done. Especially since the entire wee has looked like this

They have wine, beer, and you can mix your own drinks (if you know how). They have desert until 9 pm. Needless to say our food bill has been minimal. 

Also these are pics of the downstairs breakfast buffet - today we didn't go til 9 so it was way less crowded. 

There are more stations around the corner. I think there is more of each item but not necessarilya significant amount more choices. 

Liuzhou orphanage visit

I apologize - I am having a terrible time blogging using both the app and direct internet.

Our orphanage visit was not prescheduled like previous adoptions, and I about fell over when we were told it would be 1500 yuan to go.  I knew we had already paid for our driver for the day and put up a mild stink.  Lo and behold it was much cheaper and faster to take the bullet train.  Perfect.  They neglected to tell me we wouldn't be able to see the orphanage because it wasn't an official visit.  However after finding out the story of Dawson's best friend I knew we had to go.

And I have everyone beat lol - watching Frozen on the ipad - going through china at 200km/h while a very pale child belts out let it go lol in English!

This is what it looks like directly across from the orphanage!

Liuzhou is beautiful. It features the "cast" type mountains of Guilin without the water.  The orphanage staff met us at the train station and picked us up.  We were ushered into the front room, offered pears (I am allergic to apples and kept worrying I would get sick lol).  Everyone came in to see Dawson and meet our family.  He was the rock star of the orphanage they said.  He apparently went home with the director some evenings which explains a lot.

Then we went out front for pics, while the driver went off to the school to get Afu (Dawson's best friend).  Apparently he had an American family who wanted to pursue him ( I have no idea if that means they came to china or he was somewhere in the paperwork portion).  He was to scared and refused to be adopted.  Seeing his personality I can see that but it was almost like a stab in the heart when I found out he was 14.  I am thankful he is still living at the orphanage and being allowed to go to school.

Orphanage director and Brahm has Dawson's present for adult

These guys broke my heart. They obviously don't go to school and just want some love. They are covered in orphanage behavior scratches and picking. The little boy with DS broke my heart. 

I guess there ar 200 kids at the orphanage.  The older and apparently smarter ones go to school in town, which they take a bus to (or the driver takes them.)

When Dawson had to run in and go to the bathroom, I put my phone in Brahms pocket and he took a few pics for me.  That was the closest we got.  I'll post copies of the pics the staff gave us, but as far as a tour, we were told it wasn't an official visit and we normally wouldn't be allowed past the gates (fantastic!)

We were sadly ushered out before the other kids got home from school for lunch from 12-2 so we didn't disturb their nap.

So basically a strike out - except the teachers and really most of the staff seemed like the genuinely loved our son, and he was excited to see them too.

We went to the city center and Dawson had his first mcdonalds (basically because Brahm was dieing)

The area was stunning, as was the river walk 

We got back to nanning right at rush hour. I think we were all done but especially Dawson. 

He started crying in the car for afu - then started looking pale and sure enough barfed. I think it was a culmination of the heat, people and days events. I frankly was glad to see him cry as he has not grieved at all (and because typing is slow I will tell you he woke up happy this morning)