Thursday, July 19, 2012

It Happened {Prayers}

We have now been home 7 months.

I had read that things like this happen but I didn't know how shocking and heartbreaking it actually could be.

Let me paint the picture.

Big boy is gone, which left 4 kiddos home.

All but Cav have summer camp this week,
so we have to hurry out the door even though it is summer - you know how it goes!

Everyone trying to get breakfast and clothes on.

Basically, it's mass chaos.

All of sudden we hear the unmistakeable sound of FeiFei crying.

She has a heartbreaking wrenching sound when she cries.  We have only heard it a few times, but the first night she came to us the sound became seared into my mind.

We thought she was hurt, but there she sat at the kitchen table, crying and eating her cereal.

Finally, she said "My China Momma not coming to get me!"  "You are my family"

Ugh stab to my heart.

7 months this sweet girl of ours has been 'on vacation' with our family, waiting for her China family to come get here.

7 months she has waited and then in the chaos of an ordinary morning she realized reality.

7 months we have fallen in love with her, and still her heart is in China.

We did talk and told her how much her China Momma loves her - in fact so much I don't think they prepared our FeiFei for the adoption.  All I know was that our sweet girl was supposedly sent back to the orphanage in September.  Apparently it was such a disruption they sent her back to her foster family until the morning she came to us in December with her bags full of candy, vitamins and food.

We also told her that just like we adopted Cav so he could see the Dr and have a future - we did the same for her.  Sometimes the words will just not come as easily I hope.

Please would you pray for our daughter's heart.

Can you see the underlying sadness in her eyes?

And just because we deal with stress through laughter.  We all thought it was hysterical that she said "You are my family" like are you kidding me - couldn't I have at least been sent to a normal, quiet family LOL!!

Now don't despair to much she is still the sweetest and happiest little thing.  In fact, she is so apply compared to other children we really have to keep an eye on her.


  1. Praying for FeiFei!!! I remember when our 5-year-old from Ghana came to that slow realization. It wasn't the best few months. I pray she realizes that everyone in her life did this so she could have the best of everything in this world. She'll get there, I know it.


  2. Sweeet girl!!! praying for her heart! and I love your sense of homor! My Donovan still seems to be surprised that when he talks about his Gambella family I don't get my feelings hurt. I love to hear about them - and I think it helps him understand that I respect his birth family and he in turn respects me too. Love y'all!!! Praying for big boy this week! - Give my big boy a hug! :)

  3. Sweet baby girl! My heart is praying very hard for hers....such a wonderful daughter and I am so glad she was loved so well in China! Praying for her continued healing!

  4. prayers for your girl and you as you learn how to answer! Our achon was NOT in a happy home and so he has not pined for his China family AT ALL. At first that worried me as I thought, can he bond? but he has and I just realize they all have their "stories" and like FeiFei mine is happy most of the time (beware when he is angry though!! LOL).

  5. Poor girl! What a heartbreak to be still thinking of this now. I know she senses she's where she is secure and loved, but it doesn't change the sad beginning that got us all here. I will pray for Fei Fei's precious heart to heal and bask in God's love through your family.

    Hugs to your mama's heart, too!

  6. Oh sweet girl! Prayers for her heart, for certain. Wondering, is there any contact with the Foster family at all?

  7. Praying for your Treasure! And for you, Mama, as you struggle for the words she needs to hear. These are tough conversations to have. I love that God gives us a sense of humor to lighten the mood. And I love the chaos :)

  8. Praying for little Fei Fei and her little broken heart! This totally brought tears to my eyes reading this. We as adoptive moms have no idea what our little ones have been through but can only help to heal the little hearts.