Friday, August 17, 2012

SHUT. UP. . . stupid people

Heehee got your attention!

TO bad I got the attention of the kindest, nicest and most supportive people who read this blog o' mine.

School started on Wednesday and I have been fielding stupid comments from idiot adults for a week.

Really People, I mean really!

Please when you look at our little guy,
instead of tell me what an stupid idea our sons walking cup is -
congratulate him on making mom find a way to make him mobile on his healing stubbie.

We got the great cup idea from a bloggy friend!
Congratulate him on relearning to walk, with a new center of balance

Instead of commenting on how sad it is that he has to use a wheelchair
watch him race around for this first time in his life,
watch mom in a panic as he races down a hill,
the freedom of movement for the first time in his life.

Instead of mentioning how large my daughters head is,
mention how beautiful her smile is,

how she loves to go to school.
recognize how far she has come, how much change she has experienced
and still she smiles and meets every new challenge with grace. 

Instead of whispering to your friend (adult mind you) in a crowded area
and pointing at my children,
come meet them,
and be amazed by how wonderfully normal they are.
Cav telling you he will walk AND run!

Instead of questioning why we would have so many kids
see God's glory
and the amazing transformation he has produced in all of us.
I walked out of the store today and ran right into this -
 I swear the clouds looked like China before I got to the car and my camera!


  1. can people be so cruel! Seriously? The size of Fei Fei's head? I can never see past her SMILE and her smiling eyes to see anything else! She's just so radiant!

    And look at Cav's face! Have you ever seen such a happy (and healing) little boy? Wow. Shame on you people!

  2. As a teacher, I am hoping that they were not making awful comments. I have a daughter with a physical difference (brain surgery made her look like a person with a stroke). The best defense we have against rudeness is that she answers the questions and sometimes calls folks out on the "looks." There is a great shirt that says "leg questions: $10." Abby has people ask her what happened to her arm (doesn't "look right") and her leg (she wears a brace). She answers with "Gator got it" or "Shark attack" or "I was in Afghanistan" or "brain surgery." We have had to work very hard to empower her to answer rudely if she feels like it, because she has to deal with it forever. I don't have experience with dwarfism, but your daughter looks bright and shiny, and ready for anything. I'm sure that there is strong family support for all of your kids.

  3. Can I add to your list?

    From an adult who KNOWS my child, directed at my child:
    "You are too small to be going to school! You will never survive you are so tiny!"

    Um, he's a dwarf (well, they think, most likely; for the time being I'm going with this as there are no other reasonable diagnosis floating around). He will always be small (most likely). And since when does size have anything to do with going to or succeeding in school. How about "I can't believe how old you are getting! You'll do great and meet a ton of new friends!" If my son is one thing, it is a survivor (or maybe charismatic).

    I'm so sorry. I think Cav and his cups are awesome. You should decorate them with stickers! Or maybe stick a glow bracelet between the two cups (I think it looks like there are two cups at least) at night. That would be cool.

  4. My husband always says, "You can't fix stupid!"

    Unfortunately, it's true.

    I think you have beautiful, amazing children and you are blessed beyond measure!!!!

  5. What a good idea with the CUP!...oh and I can't believe people feel it's OK to say things like this! I personally have a special need and some people really do need to hold their thoughts to themselves.

    You are a wonderful person!

  6. Enjoy your beautiful children... and continue to rise to the challenges!

  7. People say the stupidest things! I'm so sorry if your children were hurt by these thoughtless comments. My kids think Cav's walking cup is just about the coolest thing ever. Way to go Cav! Congrats to Fei Fei on her first day of school!

  8. My first thought when I saw Cav's cup was: THAT IS SO AWESOME! That little boy is not going to let ANYTHING keep him down.

    Whenever I see Fei's smile, it makes me smile and I wish I could give her a hug. <3

  9. Woo hoo! How cool to be your 'bloggy friend'! I wanted to comment sooner but internet is SO hit or miss here in the middle of the corn fields! I'm so glad the cup is working for Cav! It's served Reni so well... now that he's growing though, we're having to find something different as he keeps splitting his perfectly-fitting IKEA cups. Thanks for the update and photos!

  10. Oh Yvette. You are beyond amazing with words. This post brought me to tears - both because I have, to a much smaller degree, experienced these things myself and because you put it all into words so beautifully and perfectly. You are so amazing and so are those gorgeous babies of yours!

  11. Um, really, people can be so STUPID. I am continually dumbfounded though by the level of stupidness. I know, not a word, but really, I am.

    Some of our all-time most STUPID comments:

    "Can she hear? Since she can't talk, I mean?" (asked IN FRONT OF our 5-year-old daughter who has perfect hearing and can talk; this STUPID person just couldn't understand her)

    "Will he live a long life or will it be shorter ... you know, since his heart is not right?" (UM, well, first off, do you know how long you will live? last time I checked none of us do! Second, why would I tell you that anyway if I even knew? In front of my 6-year-old son? And third, his heart is perfect but apparently yours is not or you wouldn't ask such a HEARTLESS question!)

    "Are you FINALLY done adopting kids? You can't save them all you know." (yes, said by a family member, again, in front of our children ... really people? I have gotten to where I answer, "I don't know. I think we are done. No, we can't save them all. Didn't save any to begin with, but which one would you propose we send back? And to whom?")

    I could go on an on but I'm getting all steamed. I will gladly come and bonk the next person who says something about Cav's walking cup (HOW COOL IS THAT! GENIUS idea really!!!) and Fei's head size?! REALLY WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!!!

  12. I am sorry, Yvette! People can be so careless with words. You strike me as the perfect family to fight back by proving their value, worth, and brilliance. I can see such sparkle in Cav and Fei Fei's eyes that just wasn't there in China. Your family is the perfect place for them to learn how to ward off attacks and comments....and you can model "letting things roll of your back". (I'm envisioning a duck's feathers here).

    As you know, my older brother has CP and everywhere we went, people stared. Even though it hurt us all to deal with stares, he has become the biggest overcomer I know and uses his disability for God's glory, as a missionary in the Netherlands now. The saying, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" may end up proving true with each of your kids. Even the bio kids are affected by the stares, whether they mention it or not. I am certain though that I gained strength through my brother's courage.

    You've got some tough days, weeks, years of parenting ahead of you...but YOU are called to navigate each of them through this. God's got a lot of faith in you. :)

    Hugs from OR!

    ~Angie J.

  13. Just started reading your blog. I'm a prospective adoptive mom myself, and also a Special Education teacher. I'm extremely protective of my "school babies" and comments from ignorant people can be the worst. If you get another comment like the ones you listed, say something like "Normal is a setting on a washing machine," or "Isn't God great about being creative and not letting us all be the same?"