Playground fun

We spent the day shopping on Shamain island, and came across a darling little park right off the water - close to Lucy's. We learned a few new things about our little ones today

1. Cav is terrified of dogs
2. Cav is terrified of bronze statues?!?!
3. Bananas don't sit we'll with his tummy
4. He LOVES the playground
5. He is amazing despite his disability
6. We love his laugh!

FeiFei loves getting her picture taken as long as she can see the picture again afterwards!

All in all it was a pretty good day. We have met some of the neatest families all adopting special needs children. I am continually amazed at how incredibly open these families are to these children of varying needs. Families providing homes for kids with albinism, burns, CP, significant limb differences and many other disabilities.

Leaving on a jet plane!

We left the house at 7:45 am MST on 12/7 and will arrive in Beijing at 10:20 pm on 12/8. So excited and thrilled that we were able to bring so many donations! All the tubs and 2 largest black bags are donations - the rest are our personal carryons!

Ladybugs!

Let me start this post by reminding you that we live in Colorado - 

tonight is going to be -15 degrees YES that is a NEGATIVE 15 degrees!

Gardens have been gone for months, leaves have fallen and the cycle of life continues.

School was delayed 2 hours this morning,

Performances were cancelled this evening due to dangerous temperatures.

And what do I find in my bathroom?

A Godwink,

a little assurance that the little ladybugs (as Chinese orphans are so often referred to)

 belong in our house.

I have no other explanation for 2 - did you catch that TWO!! ladybugs, 

living in my bathroom during the dead of winter.  

We first noticed them during our frustrating time waiting for the delays on our Article 5.

Just a glimpse of one at a time.

It was special, a sign I was sure.

But I about fell over when apparently they migrated from the far wall across the room to being in the same spot just over the balcony door 3 stories up!

One likes the crack in the door and the other burrows into the folds of the blind.

Two fabulous, gorgeous little ladybugs coming together just for us!

I fall to my knees in thinking of HIS grace, HIS compassion for our family.

Holy Cow!

We leave on the 7th!  Man, I have a lot to do! 

No fun pictures today, or anything, as I am finishing up work.  I went ahead and booked my tickets, even though I have been told a hundred times I need the adoption agency to check them over first.  BUT . . . they left at noon on Weds and won't be back in the office until Mon.

The weeks of tracking flights on Kayak.com really helped, as there is a $300+ price difference for tickets between the 7th and 8th.  I was able to tell Delight Travel which dates I wanted specifically.  We fly out of Denver onto Seattle and then to Beijing.  We have an almost 4 hour layover in Seattle, BUT we leave at almost 6pm so I think I might actually get lucky and the kids will sleep most of the flight.  Those trying to budget for tickets, our little ones - you know with the one way ticket - yeah they were $30 MORE than our roundtrip adult tickets!!

Off - oh yeah to PACK!! and ugh repack some of the donations, since my dear sweet husband decided he would rather carry suitcases then totes grrr!

11 more days and a wake up!

Daddy's prayer

Ok before I even start this post, please know that I have known my husband since I was 18 years old!  Yep, I would "kill" my own daughter now.  But he is my heart and my soul.  We kid around a lot.  We use humor to deal with stress, challenges and jsut life in general.

This man came home last night with a cheshire grin on his face last night,

He said - Pastor was in the shop today, I told him God answered my prayer.

Me - Really, what prayer was that?

Him - I prayed "Please Lord, please stop trying to teach my wife PATIENCE, or we might have to strangle her!"

WHAT!

I wasn't sure if I questioned him praying this prayer more or telling the Pastor LOL!!

Atleast we got our TA - and who says prayers aren't answered!

Oh Yeah!!

Pretty excited over here in Colorado!!  We "got our paper today!!"  according to the kids.  For those wondering - it's our last real piece of paper - we got TRAVEL APPROVAL  which means -

WE ARE GOING TO CHINA!!

We got the email while sitting in Qdoba having lunch and I almost started crying!  We asked to leave on the Dec 8th plan which means - we leave in like 15-16 days!!  With the holiday weekend we may not know until Monday but that's ok, we will plan on the 8th until we hear otherwise.

Now that;s what I call a fabulous reason to celebrate - there will soon be two less orphans in the world!

Home by Christmas

I have tried being strong an faithful all day.  Although I checked my email a hundred times today, looked at my phone jsut to make sure the ringer was on a thousand times, NOTHING. . . NADA. . .ZILCH.

Oh I tried so hard to be ok with it as I saw all those around us getting TA today.  Please know I am absolutely thrilled for them, but it makes it so hard for me.

I KNOW His timing is perfect, I KNOW that others perhaps are more in need, our kids might need a little more time, I KNOW His timing is perfect, but my arms physically ache to hold these children in my arms.

Of course this video I found on another friends blog sent me back into tears.  You see when we started this process for our sweet little FeiFEi in January - really it hasn't even been a year! - all I prayed for months was that we would have her by Christmas.  So much has changed in that year, but I think my very cells see Christmas trees, holiday music and snow and I physically can almost feel her. I am not naive enough to think it will be roses and lollipops but atleast I can know that they will have the bare minimum including our undying love.

AFRAID!

Ok, I am jsut going to say it - there are parts of this process that scare me!

I have spent countless, and I mean countless hours worrying over the logistics

I will have 5 yes FIVE kids - we don't even particularly like most kids, and FIVE - what am I thinking!  I stress in public here, people DON'T LOOK DOWN!  I have a child with dwarfism, he IS SHORT!  What - and I mean WHAT am I going to do with 2 LITTLE spitfires.  I am having nightmares of them running in opposite directions, while trying to run after them with our youngest (who is bigger than the 2 littles) in my arms because - oh yeah- he can't walk!

I am afraid FeiFei won't like our princess who has prayed for a girl.  She won't want to do girl things, won't want to have her hair done - do you know how many bows we have bought!

I am afraid all the smoke will cause my lungs to become a total wreck

I am afraid little man will be in horrible pain due to the cold weather

Did I mention I am afraid I will lose someone

I am afraid our guide, rooms, flight etc will be a disaster

Heehee, my husband is afraid I will say something and end up in jail and HE will have 5 kids to himself

I am afraid I will miss an appointment, not have the right paperwork, or run out of money

I am afraid I am being a burden to others, that one of our hundred pets will die while we are away, it'll snow, the house will catch on fire . . .

I AM AFRAID my new kiddos will think that our family is the worst thing that has ever happened to them!

I AM AFRAID  .  .  .  they won't like us

There I have said it - for the whole world to see.

And then I hear once again the song Courageous by Casting Crowns.  I LOVE this song, I will probably listen to it for all 18 hours we fly.

I know this song is for husbands, but it gives me power.  I love the watchers on the sidelines part as our families slip away.  i don't care what anyone says that speaks volumes on adoption of SN kids to me.

And I realize I can do this with HIM!

Recently, there was a discussion on international adoption and non believers.  I know in my heart I would NOT be courageous enough to do this own my own!  I am so blessed that He is there either leading the way or carrying me.

Why are we adopting two?

This adoption thing is a totally foreign process for us. It is a new adventure and like a pregnancy we are already looking forward to holding our children in our arms. The one thing that has surprised me about this process is the reaction from people both close to us and acquaintances. Here are some of the things we have heard along the way . . . You have the perfect life, why would you ruin that? Life will be so much easier if you don't do this. Can't you atleast find a child with an 'easy' problem. What are you doing to your children? And the number one - what does your husband think about all this.

I think you will find the answers in this video. This is God's journey, these are our children and I know He will provide and we will prosper. I don't know why he chose us, we aren't the perfect parents but perhaps we are a path and it is our children he is using. I hope someday to know that answer but in the meantime, we, as a family, anxiously await the arrival of our two blessings.

Happy 3rd Birthday little guy!

Our sweet little boys birthday was yesterday (blogger was down for posts).  Anyhow, we celebrate the day with our little guy in our heart.  I also was able to get in contact with a fabulous agency who can send a care package for us.  We will be sending a late birthday present for our little guy and something for our daughter.

We also had a meeting with our Pastor in the morning, to share our journey and for guidance.  You know the commercials about not having to be the perfect parents to adopt.  That's us, I am know to over commit and volunteer, my house is more often a wreck than not, I haven't used my oven in 3 weeks (ok we are getting the kitchen remodeled but I haven't even missed it!)  I could go on and on.  We also have gotten quite a bit of negative reactions when people find out about adopting two.  I am surprised how it already hurts to have my children rejected.

Anyhow, we have such a fabulous Pastor who is genuine.  He helped us to see that this is God's journey and that he has a plan for us (all of us.)  That I don't have to have everything figured out, it will all work out perfectly in time.  This is very hard for me, I like love to be in control.   I am thinking that five kids with 3 aged 3 & 4 may help cure me from this obsession of mine!  Anyhow, Happy Birthday little one, hopefully this will be the last one you will have to celebrate without your family! 

YEAH we have his file!!

Ok our agency has found and received our littlest angels file.  I am so excited I could have just screamed from the mountain tops .  .  . but just worked out and a hike was out of the question LOL!!  Anyhow,  our LOI will wait upon whether or not anyone else can possibly get ahold of his file.  If they can we will submit the LOI on Monday.  If not then we will wait for the update we requested.  Our file was done when he was 16 mos old and he will be 3 this month.  Just like when we were pregnant we decided against the risk of an amniocentesis simply because it would never have made a difference whether we carried the pregnancy to term.

And our picture for the post -

Our sweet little FeiFei - she is such a darling little thing and watch out world cuz Felicity is on the way to being the queen!  Don't you love her red shoes!! Her referral picture also showed her wearing the same shoes and the first thing our big girl noticed.  He smile, her demeanor is so fabulous.  She is part of the Half the Sky program which helps us as we patiently go through the process until we can bring her home!

Searching, searching, searching

So funny, our little girl came in the email.  We did go through tons of the available child sites like Reeces Rainbow and Rainbowkids searching for a special needs child.  We actually were looking at several other children and each time they already had a family pursuing them.  Then our little girl came in my email!  She is so perfect for our family, spunky, outgoing and well her own girl.

We (as in I again) have been searching for a little guy.  We thought an estimated million kiddos up for adoption in China, how many provinces are there, and everyone is looking for girls.   I was sure that we would easily be able to find a little guy from Qingdao or atleast Shandong province.  Then we thought ok, maybe it's God's will for us to bring another child with dwarfism home.  So we searched, we went through the entire CCAA waiting child list.  We found that many of these little people are not always classified under dwarfism.  I found 10 possible little people.

THen I decided I better email or SW and find out exactly what our homestudy is approved for - good thing, it's only ages 0-6 years.  That cuts out a lot.  In addition, I will have a 5 and 4 year old with dwarfism in our home.  Can I really do this.  I am a normal person, I have come across some super people, and I know I am not one of them.  So, we are still searching.  If God really means for us to come home with two he will make it happen.  Have I mentioned that patience is NOT my best quality.

On the other hand, my husband came home from the weekend retreat and said his answer was 'not this one but another.'  It is so hard to turn down files, but I know I really need to make sure I am not putting a square peg into a round hole either.  So we continue to search!

Yeah . . . we got our fingerprint appointments!

Two letters from homeland security and we are one step closer!  The appointment is almost 3 weeks away but atleast we have a date!

Pictures!

Yeah we found pictures of our new little one!  From a link off of a link to a group on yahoo and then another link.  We are potentially looking to bring home a second child at the same time we bring home our little one!  Anyhow, after much pray we determined (ok me DH hasn't quite agreed yet LOL) that the best idea is to get another child from the same province.  This keeps our in country time still down to two weeks.  With work, school and our little guys physical issues we feel we can Do 2 weeks but three is pushing it.  Anyhow, because we aren't particularly picky on age, gender and will except a variety of special needs we will hopefully find someone as perfect for our family as our little girl!  Please pray that my husband sees the benefit and doesn't worry about the cost etc.

And for a picture of our little one .  .  . I sure hope they are ok to post, but if not I am sure someone will tell me LOL!!  Can't you just eat her up!!

We also got a letter today that said we are logged in with USCIS for our I-800A as of April 14, 2011!  And the paperwork roles on!

Homestudy almost done!

I am so excited, our social worker has our homestudy jsut about done!  She has been absolutely amazing!  We are going to 'review' it on Tues before we leave on Weds for 10 day spring break vacation!!  Of course hubby says 'what do i need to read I know what happened in my life, and pretty sure I know everything about yours.'  The process seems to be going pretty smoothly and we are getting more and more excited as time passes.  Just waiting on the last two background checks and a few notories, and then I think we are good to go!!

1st Dr appointment made!

OK, you might think we are freaks, but when I was making little B's appointment to see the dwarfism specialist in Denver we received a date for NOVEMBER 9th!!  Yes it is MARCH!  So I told the receptionist about Fei-Fei and we made her an appointment for the following slot!  It was so weird to give all of her information as our daughter.  I truthfully have no idea when we are going to get her, but I realized if we waited until we had her at home , she wouldn't be seen until spring or even summer!

LOI submitted

OK, I really have to better about this blog thing!  I can't believe it has been almost a month since we last posted.  Yes of course we accepted this little one.  She is already our little girl and our sister.  DH well he played hard to get but in the end he knew the same as I did that she was ours.  God really did make this happen.  We had about five events occur the weeks we were deciding that came out of the blue and solidified that this was our path.  I totally believe God shows us signs if we are willing to look for them.

Anyhow, the hardest part is that our little one is a special focus child with an agency in TEXAS ugh!  We couldn't get her file moved to an agency in Colorado (Denver has a huge China only agency.)  So after some work and the help of our Texas agency we found a great agency to help us with our homestudy etc.  Best part, they have a contract social worker in Colorado Springs.  Although this agency was a bit more, they were interested in expediting our paperwork etc.  We have 6 mos to get our dossier to China or we loose our little one.  I don't stress but this would make anyone stress.  Especially when most agencies were telling us that it would be 5 mos for jsut the homestudy.

So we have already have had 2 of our visists and they weren't nearly as bad as we had thought they might be.  We are average normal people but still!  One more meeting this Sunday and then I think we are done but we will see.  The worst part for us, keeping the house clean for 3 weeks straight!

A file!

In just a few short days since I started this blog I went from months of searching, questioning, and searching to a file!  In my heart I already know she is my daughter. Yep, a girl.  We thought for sure we would be adoption a boy, we know boys, we have plan for little B and our new little boy to share his large room.  However, when we received her file, something occurred to me.  At Sundays sermon our wonderful new pastor spoke of challenges, and if things fit nicely into our boxes then they wouldn't be a challenge, and we wouldn't grow from them.  And so yes God opened the door and we have a little girl.

As for DH I gave him time to think about it (we have two weeks).  He processes, he worries . . .he is a man.  However, he did have to laugh when he read the file the first night.  "She sounds just like Pita (our 8 year old)!  THis little one is 'obstinant sometimes' her file says.  I just have to laugh.  Our kids have always been outgoing, and little B draws crowds wherever we go.  COuld we really have a child that was docile and quiet?  I guess God answered that.

Anyhow, I am thrilled and nervous at the same time.  The kids - well,  lets jsut say that this was a proud momma moment.  I did bring up the question to them.  I was worried how little B would feel about being a big brother - he was thrilled.  But in his typical manner asked some questions.  When he found out she had no momma or daddy it took him some time to process this, he couldn't even imagine.  Not so thrilled with the girl part but that will come.  My next worry was Pita, how would she feel about not being the only girl.  Our little mother was also actually thrilled with the thought of a little girl to dress and play with.  Big T - well he was as compassionate and sweet as always.  So then we told daddy!

The answer is not yes, but in my view of the world it is also not no.  I have prayed that if this is God's will then he will make it alright with DH.  Prayers please jsut encase anyone is out there!