Pictures!!

I am speechless . . .

I had my phone with me all day, I jsut felt like i needed it for one of my kids.  You know that feeling moms.  Our school numbers all have the prefix of 234-.  So I always call it a 234 day.   Even at the pool I had my phone with me.

Besides the phone,I had my women's bible study this morning.  It hit so close to home but I will leave that to another post, after I process it a little longer.  Anyhow, during prayer requests I choked up when I asked for prayers for FeiFei.  I didn't even realize how heavy her being returned to the orphanage already was waying upon my heart.

Boy, those ladies must have been praying!!

I looked at my phone shortly after the swimming with little man and my heart stopped.  The email simply said pictures.  I hoped against hope that they were of FeiFei and not Cavanaugh (his latest were in May, hers Aug 2010).

It took FOREVER to download, and then I saw my daughter.  A year older but more importantly full of smiles.  I was blessed with not only FeiFEi but I had to laugh at her shirt!  Cav's said OK when we sent LOI for him.  Apparently God is sending us messages through clothing and in English!  Sooo, now I know that the last leg of this journey will be just fine.  Yes, she is back in the orphanage and this momma heart will always break for my little 4 year old who has lost 2 families in her short life.  But then I was reminded that "it is better to love and lost, then to never have loved at all."

Her picture from Madison's Camp August 2010

FeiFei's referral photo and the very first picture we ever saw of her!

Shortly after we received PA we were researching Half the Sky and came across this picture!

How much our sweet girl has changed from a sweet little baby to a girl.  All of our kids were so thrilled to see the pictures of her!  

I asked our Princess if she had been praying for FeiFei.  

She said of course mom, and I thank God everyday for her. 

 I asked "Princess - did you pray for FeiFei's hair? " 

"No mom"she said

Well, God must have known what was on your heart and we showed her FeiFei's new pictures!

Insert a scream of delight

 (the one thing Princess has said from the beginning was she wanted a sister and she hoped she could do her hair!)  

As you can see from the pictures, not only does FeiFei have longer hair but she has it braided!

Watch out hairbows, and thank you God for answering the prayers of our heart!

(Of course daddy noticed she looks "naughtier" each picture we get.  Yep this little one is going to rule the world.)

YEAH we have his file!!

Ok our agency has found and received our littlest angels file.  I am so excited I could have just screamed from the mountain tops .  .  . but just worked out and a hike was out of the question LOL!!  Anyhow,  our LOI will wait upon whether or not anyone else can possibly get ahold of his file.  If they can we will submit the LOI on Monday.  If not then we will wait for the update we requested.  Our file was done when he was 16 mos old and he will be 3 this month.  Just like when we were pregnant we decided against the risk of an amniocentesis simply because it would never have made a difference whether we carried the pregnancy to term.

And our picture for the post -

Our sweet little FeiFei - she is such a darling little thing and watch out world cuz Felicity is on the way to being the queen!  Don't you love her red shoes!! Her referral picture also showed her wearing the same shoes and the first thing our big girl noticed.  He smile, her demeanor is so fabulous.  She is part of the Half the Sky program which helps us as we patiently go through the process until we can bring her home!

Pictures!

Yeah we found pictures of our new little one!  From a link off of a link to a group on yahoo and then another link.  We are potentially looking to bring home a second child at the same time we bring home our little one!  Anyhow, after much pray we determined (ok me DH hasn't quite agreed yet LOL) that the best idea is to get another child from the same province.  This keeps our in country time still down to two weeks.  With work, school and our little guys physical issues we feel we can Do 2 weeks but three is pushing it.  Anyhow, because we aren't particularly picky on age, gender and will except a variety of special needs we will hopefully find someone as perfect for our family as our little girl!  Please pray that my husband sees the benefit and doesn't worry about the cost etc.

And for a picture of our little one .  .  . I sure hope they are ok to post, but if not I am sure someone will tell me LOL!!  Can't you just eat her up!!

We also got a letter today that said we are logged in with USCIS for our I-800A as of April 14, 2011!  And the paperwork roles on!

Ugh things are so slow!

We just want our little FeiFei here with us.  Get her the medical care she probably needs and love on her.  I have never been a patient person, but I have a feeling that this process will teach me to be patient.  I am even more frustrated over the new rules.  If we don't have a TA by August 1 then our post adoption goes from one year (2 visits) to 5 years.  As a nurse, and a mom I am all for ensuring the safety of the children, but I am also for the attachment and finalization of the adoption too.  I hope things will be different when we have her with us, but what if we don't fill out a paper just right or in my case not on time.  Not because we don't want to, but just because we have four kids and life can get in the way.  Ok done venting.

The really scary one is Oct 1, when most of our current paperwork will no longer qualify and we get to start over.  Ugh can't I jsut pay someone to speed up tis process.  I always heard that adoption was not for the faint of heart.  I can't even imagine doing this and not already having a child.

Our paperwork is with the adoption agency being reviewed and then notarized (I think).  We also have submitted for the i-800A from USCIS.  So now we wait.

Homestudy almost done!

I am so excited, our social worker has our homestudy jsut about done!  She has been absolutely amazing!  We are going to 'review' it on Tues before we leave on Weds for 10 day spring break vacation!!  Of course hubby says 'what do i need to read I know what happened in my life, and pretty sure I know everything about yours.'  The process seems to be going pretty smoothly and we are getting more and more excited as time passes.  Just waiting on the last two background checks and a few notories, and then I think we are good to go!!

1st Dr appointment made!

OK, you might think we are freaks, but when I was making little B's appointment to see the dwarfism specialist in Denver we received a date for NOVEMBER 9th!!  Yes it is MARCH!  So I told the receptionist about Fei-Fei and we made her an appointment for the following slot!  It was so weird to give all of her information as our daughter.  I truthfully have no idea when we are going to get her, but I realized if we waited until we had her at home , she wouldn't be seen until spring or even summer!

LOI submitted

OK, I really have to better about this blog thing!  I can't believe it has been almost a month since we last posted.  Yes of course we accepted this little one.  She is already our little girl and our sister.  DH well he played hard to get but in the end he knew the same as I did that she was ours.  God really did make this happen.  We had about five events occur the weeks we were deciding that came out of the blue and solidified that this was our path.  I totally believe God shows us signs if we are willing to look for them.

Anyhow, the hardest part is that our little one is a special focus child with an agency in TEXAS ugh!  We couldn't get her file moved to an agency in Colorado (Denver has a huge China only agency.)  So after some work and the help of our Texas agency we found a great agency to help us with our homestudy etc.  Best part, they have a contract social worker in Colorado Springs.  Although this agency was a bit more, they were interested in expediting our paperwork etc.  We have 6 mos to get our dossier to China or we loose our little one.  I don't stress but this would make anyone stress.  Especially when most agencies were telling us that it would be 5 mos for jsut the homestudy.

So we have already have had 2 of our visists and they weren't nearly as bad as we had thought they might be.  We are average normal people but still!  One more meeting this Sunday and then I think we are done but we will see.  The worst part for us, keeping the house clean for 3 weeks straight!

A file!

In just a few short days since I started this blog I went from months of searching, questioning, and searching to a file!  In my heart I already know she is my daughter. Yep, a girl.  We thought for sure we would be adoption a boy, we know boys, we have plan for little B and our new little boy to share his large room.  However, when we received her file, something occurred to me.  At Sundays sermon our wonderful new pastor spoke of challenges, and if things fit nicely into our boxes then they wouldn't be a challenge, and we wouldn't grow from them.  And so yes God opened the door and we have a little girl.

As for DH I gave him time to think about it (we have two weeks).  He processes, he worries . . .he is a man.  However, he did have to laugh when he read the file the first night.  "She sounds just like Pita (our 8 year old)!  THis little one is 'obstinant sometimes' her file says.  I just have to laugh.  Our kids have always been outgoing, and little B draws crowds wherever we go.  COuld we really have a child that was docile and quiet?  I guess God answered that.

Anyhow, I am thrilled and nervous at the same time.  The kids - well,  lets jsut say that this was a proud momma moment.  I did bring up the question to them.  I was worried how little B would feel about being a big brother - he was thrilled.  But in his typical manner asked some questions.  When he found out she had no momma or daddy it took him some time to process this, he couldn't even imagine.  Not so thrilled with the girl part but that will come.  My next worry was Pita, how would she feel about not being the only girl.  Our little mother was also actually thrilled with the thought of a little girl to dress and play with.  Big T - well he was as compassionate and sweet as always.  So then we told daddy!

The answer is not yes, but in my view of the world it is also not no.  I have prayed that if this is God's will then he will make it alright with DH.  Prayers please jsut encase anyone is out there!