Why are we adopting two?

This adoption thing is a totally foreign process for us. It is a new adventure and like a pregnancy we are already looking forward to holding our children in our arms. The one thing that has surprised me about this process is the reaction from people both close to us and acquaintances. Here are some of the things we have heard along the way . . . You have the perfect life, why would you ruin that? Life will be so much easier if you don't do this. Can't you atleast find a child with an 'easy' problem. What are you doing to your children? And the number one - what does your husband think about all this.

I think you will find the answers in this video. This is God's journey, these are our children and I know He will provide and we will prosper. I don't know why he chose us, we aren't the perfect parents but perhaps we are a path and it is our children he is using. I hope someday to know that answer but in the meantime, we, as a family, anxiously await the arrival of our two blessings.

Happy 3rd Birthday little guy!

Our sweet little boys birthday was yesterday (blogger was down for posts).  Anyhow, we celebrate the day with our little guy in our heart.  I also was able to get in contact with a fabulous agency who can send a care package for us.  We will be sending a late birthday present for our little guy and something for our daughter.

We also had a meeting with our Pastor in the morning, to share our journey and for guidance.  You know the commercials about not having to be the perfect parents to adopt.  That's us, I am know to over commit and volunteer, my house is more often a wreck than not, I haven't used my oven in 3 weeks (ok we are getting the kitchen remodeled but I haven't even missed it!)  I could go on and on.  We also have gotten quite a bit of negative reactions when people find out about adopting two.  I am surprised how it already hurts to have my children rejected.

Anyhow, we have such a fabulous Pastor who is genuine.  He helped us to see that this is God's journey and that he has a plan for us (all of us.)  That I don't have to have everything figured out, it will all work out perfectly in time.  This is very hard for me, I like love to be in control.   I am thinking that five kids with 3 aged 3 & 4 may help cure me from this obsession of mine!  Anyhow, Happy Birthday little one, hopefully this will be the last one you will have to celebrate without your family! 

YEAH we have his file!!

Ok our agency has found and received our littlest angels file.  I am so excited I could have just screamed from the mountain tops .  .  . but just worked out and a hike was out of the question LOL!!  Anyhow,  our LOI will wait upon whether or not anyone else can possibly get ahold of his file.  If they can we will submit the LOI on Monday.  If not then we will wait for the update we requested.  Our file was done when he was 16 mos old and he will be 3 this month.  Just like when we were pregnant we decided against the risk of an amniocentesis simply because it would never have made a difference whether we carried the pregnancy to term.

And our picture for the post -

Our sweet little FeiFei - she is such a darling little thing and watch out world cuz Felicity is on the way to being the queen!  Don't you love her red shoes!! Her referral picture also showed her wearing the same shoes and the first thing our big girl noticed.  He smile, her demeanor is so fabulous.  She is part of the Half the Sky program which helps us as we patiently go through the process until we can bring her home!

Searching, searching, searching

So funny, our little girl came in the email.  We did go through tons of the available child sites like Reeces Rainbow and Rainbowkids searching for a special needs child.  We actually were looking at several other children and each time they already had a family pursuing them.  Then our little girl came in my email!  She is so perfect for our family, spunky, outgoing and well her own girl.

We (as in I again) have been searching for a little guy.  We thought an estimated million kiddos up for adoption in China, how many provinces are there, and everyone is looking for girls.   I was sure that we would easily be able to find a little guy from Qingdao or atleast Shandong province.  Then we thought ok, maybe it's God's will for us to bring another child with dwarfism home.  So we searched, we went through the entire CCAA waiting child list.  We found that many of these little people are not always classified under dwarfism.  I found 10 possible little people.

THen I decided I better email or SW and find out exactly what our homestudy is approved for - good thing, it's only ages 0-6 years.  That cuts out a lot.  In addition, I will have a 5 and 4 year old with dwarfism in our home.  Can I really do this.  I am a normal person, I have come across some super people, and I know I am not one of them.  So, we are still searching.  If God really means for us to come home with two he will make it happen.  Have I mentioned that patience is NOT my best quality.

On the other hand, my husband came home from the weekend retreat and said his answer was 'not this one but another.'  It is so hard to turn down files, but I know I really need to make sure I am not putting a square peg into a round hole either.  So we continue to search!

Pictures!

Yeah we found pictures of our new little one!  From a link off of a link to a group on yahoo and then another link.  We are potentially looking to bring home a second child at the same time we bring home our little one!  Anyhow, after much pray we determined (ok me DH hasn't quite agreed yet LOL) that the best idea is to get another child from the same province.  This keeps our in country time still down to two weeks.  With work, school and our little guys physical issues we feel we can Do 2 weeks but three is pushing it.  Anyhow, because we aren't particularly picky on age, gender and will except a variety of special needs we will hopefully find someone as perfect for our family as our little girl!  Please pray that my husband sees the benefit and doesn't worry about the cost etc.

And for a picture of our little one .  .  . I sure hope they are ok to post, but if not I am sure someone will tell me LOL!!  Can't you just eat her up!!

We also got a letter today that said we are logged in with USCIS for our I-800A as of April 14, 2011!  And the paperwork roles on!

Ugh things are so slow!

We just want our little FeiFei here with us.  Get her the medical care she probably needs and love on her.  I have never been a patient person, but I have a feeling that this process will teach me to be patient.  I am even more frustrated over the new rules.  If we don't have a TA by August 1 then our post adoption goes from one year (2 visits) to 5 years.  As a nurse, and a mom I am all for ensuring the safety of the children, but I am also for the attachment and finalization of the adoption too.  I hope things will be different when we have her with us, but what if we don't fill out a paper just right or in my case not on time.  Not because we don't want to, but just because we have four kids and life can get in the way.  Ok done venting.

The really scary one is Oct 1, when most of our current paperwork will no longer qualify and we get to start over.  Ugh can't I jsut pay someone to speed up tis process.  I always heard that adoption was not for the faint of heart.  I can't even imagine doing this and not already having a child.

Our paperwork is with the adoption agency being reviewed and then notarized (I think).  We also have submitted for the i-800A from USCIS.  So now we wait.

Homestudy almost done!

I am so excited, our social worker has our homestudy jsut about done!  She has been absolutely amazing!  We are going to 'review' it on Tues before we leave on Weds for 10 day spring break vacation!!  Of course hubby says 'what do i need to read I know what happened in my life, and pretty sure I know everything about yours.'  The process seems to be going pretty smoothly and we are getting more and more excited as time passes.  Just waiting on the last two background checks and a few notories, and then I think we are good to go!!

1st Dr appointment made!

OK, you might think we are freaks, but when I was making little B's appointment to see the dwarfism specialist in Denver we received a date for NOVEMBER 9th!!  Yes it is MARCH!  So I told the receptionist about Fei-Fei and we made her an appointment for the following slot!  It was so weird to give all of her information as our daughter.  I truthfully have no idea when we are going to get her, but I realized if we waited until we had her at home , she wouldn't be seen until spring or even summer!

LOI submitted

OK, I really have to better about this blog thing!  I can't believe it has been almost a month since we last posted.  Yes of course we accepted this little one.  She is already our little girl and our sister.  DH well he played hard to get but in the end he knew the same as I did that she was ours.  God really did make this happen.  We had about five events occur the weeks we were deciding that came out of the blue and solidified that this was our path.  I totally believe God shows us signs if we are willing to look for them.

Anyhow, the hardest part is that our little one is a special focus child with an agency in TEXAS ugh!  We couldn't get her file moved to an agency in Colorado (Denver has a huge China only agency.)  So after some work and the help of our Texas agency we found a great agency to help us with our homestudy etc.  Best part, they have a contract social worker in Colorado Springs.  Although this agency was a bit more, they were interested in expediting our paperwork etc.  We have 6 mos to get our dossier to China or we loose our little one.  I don't stress but this would make anyone stress.  Especially when most agencies were telling us that it would be 5 mos for jsut the homestudy.

So we have already have had 2 of our visists and they weren't nearly as bad as we had thought they might be.  We are average normal people but still!  One more meeting this Sunday and then I think we are done but we will see.  The worst part for us, keeping the house clean for 3 weeks straight!

A file!

In just a few short days since I started this blog I went from months of searching, questioning, and searching to a file!  In my heart I already know she is my daughter. Yep, a girl.  We thought for sure we would be adoption a boy, we know boys, we have plan for little B and our new little boy to share his large room.  However, when we received her file, something occurred to me.  At Sundays sermon our wonderful new pastor spoke of challenges, and if things fit nicely into our boxes then they wouldn't be a challenge, and we wouldn't grow from them.  And so yes God opened the door and we have a little girl.

As for DH I gave him time to think about it (we have two weeks).  He processes, he worries . . .he is a man.  However, he did have to laugh when he read the file the first night.  "She sounds just like Pita (our 8 year old)!  THis little one is 'obstinant sometimes' her file says.  I just have to laugh.  Our kids have always been outgoing, and little B draws crowds wherever we go.  COuld we really have a child that was docile and quiet?  I guess God answered that.

Anyhow, I am thrilled and nervous at the same time.  The kids - well,  lets jsut say that this was a proud momma moment.  I did bring up the question to them.  I was worried how little B would feel about being a big brother - he was thrilled.  But in his typical manner asked some questions.  When he found out she had no momma or daddy it took him some time to process this, he couldn't even imagine.  Not so thrilled with the girl part but that will come.  My next worry was Pita, how would she feel about not being the only girl.  Our little mother was also actually thrilled with the thought of a little girl to dress and play with.  Big T - well he was as compassionate and sweet as always.  So then we told daddy!

The answer is not yes, but in my view of the world it is also not no.  I have prayed that if this is God's will then he will make it alright with DH.  Prayers please jsut encase anyone is out there!

Our journey with dwarfism

Where to begin!  I am the mom to three wonderful children currently 12, 8, and 4.  Although we have 3 biological children, we were told that we would never be able to have children.  My husband and I were in the process of foster adopt when we became pregnant with our first son.  What a surprise and delight!   Prior to our last child we were given a 1/4 of 1% chance of getting pregnant.  Yep a miracle happened and our little guy was conceived.  I have terrible pregnancies with severe hyperemesis (PICC line, zofran everything.)  but I would go through anything to add to our family.

Everyone was so excited for little B to get here but things just felt off.  I had an overwhelming feeling that something wasn't right, although I thought he would be stillborn.  My fabulous Dr did 3x weekly BPP just to keep tabs on everything.  On Aug 2 he also did an ultrasound.  The wonderful US tech said that his limbs were showing 6 weeks short and his head was 2 weeks oversized.  As a nurse I knew that those were signs of dwarfism.  Due to the decreasing BPP they decided to deliver him that day.  I had 5 hours to deal with the news before he was born.  I was crying and distraught to say the least.   My 6'3" husband simply said we will deal with whatever comes, we can't change this and he is our son.  What a man, it brings tears to my eyes to think about it even now.  Our little guy looked so perfect when he was born.  I had only know of achondroplasia type dwarfism - later I would find out there were over 350 different types.

Little B was never really on the growth charts, and steadily fell below any curve.  I finally contacted the LPA (little People of America) when he was about 2 months old.  They were wonderful and sent me the following poem in the packet.

WELCOME TO HOLLAND

by
Emily Perl Kingsley.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this…


When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum, the Michelangelo David, the gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.


After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."


"Holland?!" you say. "What do you mean, Holland?" I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy.


But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.


The important thing is that they haven't taken you to some horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.


So you must go out and buy a new guidebook. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.


It's just a different place. It's slower paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around, and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills, Holland has tulips, Holland even has Rembrandts.


But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."


The pain of that will never, ever, go away, because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.


But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland. 


We never thought that this would be our journey, but I would not change it for anything.  During our lives with little B we learned that America is one of the only countries that these children have any hope. And their begins our next journey... of adoption.

We have been very blessed, and we feel that we have room in our home for one more child with dwarfism.  It has taken 3 months to figure out what company to go with, and how to start the process of adopting a specific child.  I think we finally have the answer and so we begin!  Please keep our future child in your prayers.