Ok, I am jsut going to say it - there are parts of this process that scare me!
I have spent countless, and I mean countless hours worrying over the logistics
I will have 5 yes FIVE kids - we don't even particularly like most kids, and FIVE - what am I thinking! I stress in public here, people DON'T LOOK DOWN! I have a child with dwarfism, he IS SHORT! What - and I mean WHAT am I going to do with 2 LITTLE spitfires. I am having nightmares of them running in opposite directions, while trying to run after them with our youngest (who is bigger than the 2 littles) in my arms because - oh yeah- he can't walk!
I am afraid FeiFei won't like our princess who has prayed for a girl. She won't want to do girl things, won't want to have her hair done - do you know how many bows we have bought!
I am afraid all the smoke will cause my lungs to become a total wreck
I am afraid little man will be in horrible pain due to the cold weather
Did I mention I am afraid I will lose someone
I am afraid our guide, rooms, flight etc will be a disaster
Heehee, my husband is afraid I will say something and end up in jail and HE will have 5 kids to himself
I am afraid I will miss an appointment, not have the right paperwork, or run out of money
I am afraid I am being a burden to others, that one of our hundred pets will die while we are away, it'll snow, the house will catch on fire . . .
I AM AFRAID my new kiddos will think that our family is the worst thing that has ever happened to them!
I AM AFRAID . . . they won't like us
There I have said it - for the whole world to see.
And then I hear once again the song Courageous by Casting Crowns. I LOVE this song, I will probably listen to it for all 18 hours we fly.
I have spent countless, and I mean countless hours worrying over the logistics
I will have 5 yes FIVE kids - we don't even particularly like most kids, and FIVE - what am I thinking! I stress in public here, people DON'T LOOK DOWN! I have a child with dwarfism, he IS SHORT! What - and I mean WHAT am I going to do with 2 LITTLE spitfires. I am having nightmares of them running in opposite directions, while trying to run after them with our youngest (who is bigger than the 2 littles) in my arms because - oh yeah- he can't walk!
I am afraid FeiFei won't like our princess who has prayed for a girl. She won't want to do girl things, won't want to have her hair done - do you know how many bows we have bought!
I am afraid all the smoke will cause my lungs to become a total wreck
I am afraid little man will be in horrible pain due to the cold weather
Did I mention I am afraid I will lose someone
I am afraid our guide, rooms, flight etc will be a disaster
Heehee, my husband is afraid I will say something and end up in jail and HE will have 5 kids to himself
I am afraid I will miss an appointment, not have the right paperwork, or run out of money
I am afraid I am being a burden to others, that one of our hundred pets will die while we are away, it'll snow, the house will catch on fire . . .
I AM AFRAID my new kiddos will think that our family is the worst thing that has ever happened to them!
I AM AFRAID . . . they won't like us
There I have said it - for the whole world to see.
And then I hear once again the song Courageous by Casting Crowns. I LOVE this song, I will probably listen to it for all 18 hours we fly.
I know this song is for husbands, but it gives me power. I love the watchers on the sidelines part as our families slip away. i don't care what anyone says that speaks volumes on adoption of SN kids to me.
And I realize I can do this with HIM!
Recently, there was a discussion on international adoption and non believers. I know in my heart I would NOT be courageous enough to do this own my own! I am so blessed that He is there either leading the way or carrying me.
