Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

We wish you all the most Blessed Christmas season filled with joy, love and family!!

The front of our card

The reality of our family LOL!

** We know many out there pray for our family - we are days away from getting LOA (they think) and Satan is attacking like nothing I have ever seen.  Dawson is an amazingly special child and we are begging you keep our family covered over the next days and weeks.***

How we are doing.

WOW, you know when you read people's blogs about their perfect little adoptions and then don't ever read their blog again cuz they are living in fairytale land (especially when all he$$ is breaking loose at your house).  Skip the part on Griffen and go to the middle of the post cuz I would hate lose my bloggy friends!

You know some kids are jsut easy.  Griffen is one of them.  We have our adoption issues ~ mainly he likes jsut about anyone else over me which breaks my heart but then I get an evil laugh in my head and think Buddy another week and your stuck with me LOL!

It's not even that bad,
you know he cries when I pick him up & he is sitting with JieJie,
cries when I discipline one of the other minions,
screams bloody murder when he has to take a shower,
or bath.

He was crying when I walked in the door so now he comes with me LOL!

He also smiles and laughs when I feed him,
falls asleep on my shoulder,
hugs our friends but if I put my coat on he is ready to come with me.

I guess it's a perspective thing.  As long as I take my hurt feelings out of the equation, he has adapted nicely.

He is NOT banging his head on the wall,
scratching and clawing the siblings
wiping gross unmentionables everywhere
like some child who will remain nameless, did.

Griffen LOVES his brothers and sisters,
he plays with them all.

He is happy, happy, happy (except at bath time).

He didn't stress over Christmas,
loved his presents,
played with his toys,
loved the food.

Dude, the child is a dream

AND I thank GOD every day (not saying God wasn't their with Cav) but to be honest I spent more time praying over Griffen.  I jsut couldn't have done another Cav.

And I sure couldn't have done a hard child right now.
Daddy sells guns, to say daddy hasn't been around much would be an understatement.  We have not seen him except for Christmas day.  In addition, he takes one of our two big kids to help him at the shop.  Even with 20 employees it has been nuts.  I had my meltdown, Christmas is about family and well we had momma and the kids with no daddy around.  My vision of our ideal little Christmas was being shattered while I tried to hurry up and make a real Christmas for the kids, get last minute supplies and deal with the adopted child's holiday meltdowns which it is nice to read is normal.

All this while trying to find a new normal.

People don't really understand this part.  When you have a new baby you get a lot of grace.  When you adopt - well, you asked for this.  Um, hello nope answered God's call, not really my idea LOL!  

Folks, I can't for the life of me figure out how many plates to pull out at meal time.
3 times a day for almost a month and I still can't figure it out.
Laundry is a joke,
clothes - people my dang pictures are so messed up from Christmas because the dang kids didn't change their clothes for 2 or 3 days and I didn't even notice.
I can't find the envelopes for my gorgeous Christmas cards,
I still have to collect poop and pee from our angel.
We have been home a month and realized that although he wears 6-12 month clothes he has been dry for days and onsies do NOT work.
And my list of utter failures go on, and on, and on.


SO, I have come to conclusion that adoption is plain hard.  No matter how perfect the picture, there are challenges.  The best solution is a glass of wine and grace for yourself.  And if you haven't read this post (not the videos although they are cute)  you MUST!

When I change my haven's into accolades you know what ESHET CHAYIL!! 
I traveled across the world for a baby I never met,
My kids love a complete stranger with all their hearts 
I actually made 3 meals on the same day!
I loaded and unloaded the dishwasher on that same day!
I love my husband so much that I miss him when he is gone . . . .ESHET CHAYIL!!

So, as we enter the new year I am hoping to have a new perspective on my life and the incredible women around me (not vicinity), to encourage and lift up for what we have done!

Blessed

I just can't get over the immence blessings we have experienced over the past year.  I have spent the last few days as I have been driving - in tears.  To think that God would choose our family for such incredible gifts.

Everyone did incredibly well - ok I think everyone of us was in tears at some point (for me the extended families surface regardless of the day or because of it.)  but I think we are past the "overwhelmed so I will throw a fit"

I think I had bought almost everything before we left.  Except the big kids "new" snowboards* which I found while they were on their Santa flight!

Anyhow here are pics - although I am having camera issues so they aren't the best LOL and we would all die from old age if I edited them before I posted so here they are in their crappy nakedness LOL!

I am so disappointed that this was the only pic I have int their Christmas eve clothes ugh!

Remember our rainy Black Friday in China - these are what I bought LOL!

Stocking opened waiting for Mom & Dad to wake up!

Fei loved the items in her stocking!

So did this little guy!

Before they dug in - Snowboards under our blankets from Kunming!

* I am cheap, ok my friend Sarah says that should be thrifty LOL! Anyhow, I refuse to pay full price for our kids items (and 3 adoptions in a year has done us in) - so the big kids snowboards are actually pre-loved AND I have to say I am beyond proud of my big kids for being excited for the items they did receive and NOT complain about the fact that they were previously loved.  I am not sure IF I could have been as awesome at that age.  Also the BEATS headphones we got from the market off Beijing Rd worked awesome!  Way cool for 300 RMB!

Merry Christmas

Cav ~ What? There's NO figgy pudding!

Wishing you all a very Merry CHRISTmas filled with His love and Glory.

Santa Tears

I decided to brave the cold and loaded all the kids, all their gloves, snow pants, jackets, hats and sleeping bags into the truck and off we went to the Electric Safari tonight.

Well, mainly we sat in a long line of cars but your know.

It was so fun to share with the little kids the 1 million lights, and even the jaunt around our dang zoo wasn't bad (it is built into the side of the mountian - I swear the thing is straight uphill both ways.)

Anyhow, we had our double Bob stroller with 3 piled onto it and the kids actually oohed and aahed at the lights and the night dwellers that were alert and awake.

We got their jsut as the last tickets were being sold - so daddy jumped in line while we found a parking spot.  Then as we passed by the Santa Hut we grabbed one of their numbers jsut encase.

Well, we were one of the last numbers to be called to meet Santa.

Things like this I still really cringe at - really 4 little kids of which 1 has really sat on Santa's lap before, plus the logistics of getting short people up on Santa's lap, one not accidently kicking Santa's shins with his metal legs - ugh jsut creates a Calgon moment for me.

I expected tears, I did NOT expect them from Santa.

Brahm went first and we heard him say XBOX game blah, blah, blah (the kid has the gift of gab) so I elbowed hubby to try and listen what the other item was he wanted as the XBOX game was out.

As Santa placed Brahm down he looked at me and said "excuse me Ma'am"

With the same fear as I get when teachers call me - I walked up to Santa wondering what on earth our boy had said to warrant a direct intervention from Santa. (talk about quivering in your boots LOL)

Santa says to me "Your son asked if I could take the pain away from his joints so he won't hurt every morning!'

Oh sure a room full of people and I am going to start crying as I have a private conversation with Santa

"Could I give him a special treat to maybe help a little?" asked the Santa.

 I looked into his crystal blue eyes, wet with tears and a sadness that struck straight from his heart - no child should ask for these things.

I smiled as he pulled out a stuffed toy from his bag hidden on the left, in a room full of children who would only be getting little candy canes and smiled

What til you see who is up next LOL!

This crazy baby loves men with beards?!?!

Turtle Pace

Between being gone
and Daddy being home
and
you know my focus on paperwork before that
and being neurotic for the last few months

and then the in your face realization ~
(or my friend Mary reminding me LOL!)

I HAVE SIX KIDS
(and those of you with more just shake your head due to my patheticness)

Anyhow, I walked into my house which looked like a tornado hit it

You know INSIDE!!

Of course we have only been home 4.5 days - which have been busy

BUT I gotta get this place in order
BEFORE I can really decorate for Christmas
and I dunno but
CHRISTMAS is coming!

Lets jsut say STRESS - especially when I had a snuggle bug today who wanted jsut to be cuddled.

So as with all things adoption
I realized that I wasn't going to be able to do all this
and you know feed the kids.

So I decided that slow and steady would be my current focus.

Genesis 33:14
So let my lord go on ahead of his servant, while I move along slowly at the pace of the flocks and herds before me and the pace of the children, until I come to my lord in Seir.

and you know it's ok, I can stand there staring at how nice and clean it looks and then turn around to the chaos LOL!

Ok, it doesn't even look that clean LOL!

AND jsut encase you just adopted a little 

I found this perfect shirt at Wally world

cuz you know 3 days of leftover popeyes chicken has my kids revolting!

It was only $3.25 and in the baby section up to 24 mos I think!

Project 365 - christmas lights

So I mentioned we only put up two little bitty trees this year.  Before we took them down I wanted to try out some light pictures with little man.  There wasn't a ton of ambient light from the little trees and a great big tree would be better, but since I set a goal of trying to take photos everyday I wanted to take the opportunity.

Christmas day

I think I forgot to mention we were blessed with a white Christmas here - almost a foot of pure white snow at our house when we got home. It was all done, the roads were clear and someone had snowplowed our long driveway!

One of the deals with my old slightly Scroogie husbands was that if we were spending most of December in chine he wasn't decorating. Fine, so I went and bought two little trees I had been wanting and some decorations specific for them in the future and decorated a small area in the living room. This was the perfect solution since we figured a live tree would be dead once we got home anyhow. Of course I missed the after Christmas sale for an artificial tree so I guess next year we get another real tree much to my husbands delight - truly!

We felt well enough to wrap the few presents and Some clothes I had bought previously for the kids. I even went as low as wrapping new undies for them - something my husband made me promise never to do since this was all he ever got for Christmas (hmmm might explain the Scroogie disposition but I'm still working on it!). Besides we left a trail of old undies and clothes in china and promised new ones when they got home;0)

The kids loved opening the presents and stitch was awesome at cleaning up - another positive orphanage behavior we like - see they aren't all bad!

****Note- he is 3 1/2 years old and we bought him a remote control car for 3+ years. He had no idea what to do with it. Between illnesses I did get to the store and got him a vtech book for 6-36 months and a car set for 18+ months which was much better. ***

FeiFei got a doll with carriage and bed set which was perfect for her. So sweet to see her love on and nurture the little baby!

I was a little nervous as the family all planned to meet at our house since it is large enough and central. My mom and brother planned and prepared everything. Did I mention that I was sick and went to bed after presents until about 3.

The littles actually did great but I have come to find I already have mommy thought over cav's legs. Yes he very interesting but he is not a science experiment you just come and rip his socks off to look at ( my FIL). He is first and foremost a scared little boy.

It was interesting to see how the effects of daycare (I worked nights for years and not a big daycare proponent- I know a few are good but the majority are not sorry for the soapbox) and orphanage played out over the evening. Let me tell you the daycare won out after I found Cav being strangled by his cousin who he outweighed. It is sad to see the submissiveness he has at times.

We will give him back his confidence I just know slowly but surely. It's definately Like having a new piece of clay to shape just a little until our beautiful boy is one of us.

It is so interesting getting two - one from foster care for 3 years and one from and orphanage to see the differences. FeiFei acts like she has been with us for years, Cav can be down right frustrating to the most patient but he is also the most rewarding.

When we started this process almost a year ago all I prayed for is for our sweet FeiFei to be home for Christmas!

Home by Christmas

I have tried being strong an faithful all day.  Although I checked my email a hundred times today, looked at my phone jsut to make sure the ringer was on a thousand times, NOTHING. . . NADA. . .ZILCH.

Oh I tried so hard to be ok with it as I saw all those around us getting TA today.  Please know I am absolutely thrilled for them, but it makes it so hard for me.

I KNOW His timing is perfect, I KNOW that others perhaps are more in need, our kids might need a little more time, I KNOW His timing is perfect, but my arms physically ache to hold these children in my arms.

Of course this video I found on another friends blog sent me back into tears.  You see when we started this process for our sweet little FeiFEi in January - really it hasn't even been a year! - all I prayed for months was that we would have her by Christmas.  So much has changed in that year, but I think my very cells see Christmas trees, holiday music and snow and I physically can almost feel her. I am not naive enough to think it will be roses and lollipops but atleast I can know that they will have the bare minimum including our undying love.