Thursday, May 17, 2012

Trust in ME

It has been a rough week!

Last night I spent in tears wondering what I was thinking bringing another child home.  Cav spent FOUR . . . yes FOUR freaking hours screaming on Mothers Day.  He was ticked that he couldn't have a donut after church. 

NO ONE else got a donut
We were going to BRUNCH.

He screamed all the way to Brunch, kicked seats and had an all out fit with no hope of calming.

THankfully, we have been parents long enough to know bailing on Brunch was the smartest idea.
We felt terrible for the other kids ~ but this was one of those opportunities where we saw their true character.
They truly made me proud.

We have had an unexplained backslide in Cav's behavior all week.
Tantrum's everyday
Inappropriate behavior at school

Then today we had to run up to Denver Children's to meet with the Dwarf specialist.
Fei will need surgery (tonsils so not a huge deal)
Brahm had to have blood drawn as his latest genetic test came back WITHOUT answers again.
In the midst of his tears he asked some pretty difficult questions, about WHY's.

I got home and found this waiting in the mailbox.

For those not in the know our I-800A approval
OK I dreaded the thought of running BACK up to Denver in the morning, but was able to make arrangements to be in Denver by 8AM so I could be back be 11AM Kindergarten pickup LOL!

AND THEN. . . 
I remembered we still needed a copy of our homestudy update which our social worker said she mailed on Monday before she left 

TEARS, ok ugly cry, and then I realized.

I had been so stressed, so distracted that I allowed Satan into our lives.
As I drove the kids to their activity tonight, I fiercely prayed for direction and that's when I had not been in the word as much as I should.

Of course I had to laugh when I went to my easy brainless got to on BibleGateway

AB Simpson    Abraham believed in God
 Abraham's faith reposed in God Himself. He knew the God he was dealing with. It was a personal confidence in 
 One whom he could utterly trust. The real secret of Abraham's whole life was in his friendship with God. He 
knew God to be his great, good and faithful Friend. Taking Him at His word, he stepped out from all that he 
knew and loved and went forth upon an unknown pathway with none but God. In addition to trusting in the 
Word of God, have we learned to lean our whole weight upon God, the God of infinite love and power, our 
covenant God and everlasting Friend? We are told that Abraham glorified God by this life of faith. The truest 
way to glorify God is to let the world see what He is and what He can do. God does not so much want us to do 
things as to let people see what He can do. God is not looking for extraordinary characters as His instruments, 
but He is looking for humble instruments through whom He can be honored throughout the ages. 

Ok I got it!!

Love the LORD your God with all your heart with all your soul and with all your strength.


  1. I adopted my sons 11 years ago from Ukraine. My China son comes home in the fall. I can tell you that in our experience special days like birthdays are STILL difficult for our oldest to process. That may be leading to some of the backslide. He will come back around as he processes it. We still deal with "orphanage" stuff but it does get easier. Cav has been here such a short time. He will be ok, so will you. Stay strong and try to stay patient (I know huge task!) My oldest is ADHD, minor RAD and was PTSD for a long time. There have been many moments like that but I can tell you that my son is doing great right now. Hang in there Cav is going to be ok.

  2. I am thinking of and praying for you guys. I know that life with a newly adopted child can be difficult in and of itself...and adding the stress of the paper trail on top of it is sure to send you over the moon at times. You guys will get through it ~ the enemy will surely try to disrupt your process, time and time again. But, with God, your family will OVERCOME!