Cav's surgery

Tomorrow is Cav's "surprise" surgery to place 2 screws into his growth plates on the outside of his longer leg.  THis will allow the inside portion of his leg to continue to grow and hopefully straighten the tibia a little bit.

We are praying it will at least buy us some time.  Selfishly, I need the time until we get Dawson home and settled.  But also time for Cav.  The kid we anticipated would need one surgery once home is going into his fourth in two years.  And truly I know lots of kids who have gone through way more - but oh my momma heart breaks for him each time.

In addition, the recovery without a prosthetic is only 2 weeks with this surgery.  If he has to have another osteotomy (break the bone in 3 pieces and put a rod through it to straighten it out) - that's 8 weeks alone int he cast.  The poor kid already went through this 18 months ago ugh.

Lastly, he is finally getting to a point that he cares - he is self conscious about not wearing his legs.  Mind you this is the kid who puts them on when he gets up and takes them off at bedtime.  On weekends if I don't give him socks then he will go without around the house but he truly has never fought us about wearing his legs.

In the orphanage, they obviously pulled on his little feet, and taunted him.  All he ever wanted was shoes. . . even two years later I think this is still very important to him.

So please will you pray for him, for his little heart.  We tried desperately to get him able to walk with forearm crutches.  His hands are just to weak, and we have made the executive decision to only use his wheelchair.

I pray this is the right decision, he would need to stand on his full prosthetic leg which means standing on a gravity driven prosthetic knee.  Using hands that will never have the strength of "normal" hands.  Fall after fall he would get up as he practiced around the house (even though we went to 2 and 3 PT appts a week to get him where he could use the forearm crutches.)

Anyhow, please pray that the other kids don't make fun of his legs (his teacher will talk to them the day before he gets back.)  We have fun socks for him, and his wheelchair is super cute with a teddy bear "footplate".

Doing surgery once again now 2 years home does have it's advantages.  We have always scheduled early morning appts because of the food issue.  Dare I say, but I think he is past the HUGE food issues he has had (Can I get an Amen!!)  We talked extensively about his not being able to eat in the morning - and he got special McDonal's tonight so praying this is one less thing we have to worry about.

Surgery is tomorrow (Monday 1/20) at noon MST.

8/2012 in his teddy bear wheelchair

11 days

Anyone who has done adopting knows the sinking feeling when your husband (who finally knows if it says Hague it's important) hands you a full size envelope that is THICK.

You see approvals come in their nice little trifold business envelop, one page thick.

Ours was half open and the envelop looked like it had gotten stuck in the postal service sorter.

I stood there at 8pm wanting to scream and cry.  My heart sunk as opened the rest of the envelope and all of my I-800 paperwork was in it.  ELEVEN days we had just lost in a 14 day process.  I wanted to cry.

Three vague sheets of paper were on top.

One said the check was not the correct amount or was not included.

Another said a page was missing from the I-800.

I admit - I didn't expect our LOA - I was shocked AND then frazzled.  I wanted to speed the process up, so I grabbed the papers I had already filled out and drove the 35 min to hubby's shop for a signature .  On my way I called my friend who has done this 4 times and reviewed all my papers.  Realizing I forgot a copy of the I-800a approval I turned around and grabbed that, found my agencies info on sending LOA and got back on the road.

Out of all of our adoptions this was the most that reminded me of a crazy race to the hospital because my contractions had just started but they were already a minute apart.  We were giddy, frazzled and excited.

All our other LOA's were like 90 days - I didn't expect anything until the of January or February.  We have never been a lucky one with a quick LOA ** as a side not it seems that PA before LID is finally being processed expeditiously and in order since the big computer change**

Because I-800a waits way back in August were taking so long, and I had been smart enough to mark 2 when we had to file a new one for Tao's adoption - we reused.

I knew I had to send Uncle Sam his money most people send at the time of the I-800a.  So I threw a check in for $720 and Fedexed our package.

Fast forward to getting our paperwork sent back.  I reread the USCIS website and it still said $720 for subsequent children.  I shot an email of to the lockbox that night still unsure of what to do about the stupid check.  It was in the packet, stapled to the front and endorsed so I knew it was seen, and the amount was the same - it just didn't make sense.

I also knew I needed to pay Uncle Sam.  Did they somehow get it wrong and I could save my money - but then they would catch it later down the road.

AS far as the page missing - apparently the stupid page 8 - the one with current expenses and future expenses was the one in question.  Our agency is super sweet and mails us a page already filled out with expenses typed out.

That page was there - behind page 9 ugh

You wanna talk about hitting the ceiling - I was mad, mad at them for not moving page 9 back just one spot, mad at the possibility I put it there (although I swear it was in the correct spot.) mad at knowing our boy has to wait just a little bit longer.

I finally got a reply back from USCIS and they mentioned in their not so concise and clear manner that some people need to pay $720 for subsequent children AND $85 per person for fingerprints.  Ugh was that it - so I decided on a hail mary pass and sent a new check for $890  - I still have no idea if this is correct or we will have the packet sent back once again.

Remember we were the daily with 3 rejections on our I-800a - USCIS is absolutely killing us this time around.

So today is the day we should have gotten approval.  I am praying the super secret location (heehee like a spy novel at this point) I had to USPS, because fedex does NOT send to PO Boxes, will speed up my processing.  I am praying I can catch up somehow and still travel with the people I thought I would travel with.

But ultimately I know that GOD'S timing is perfect and more than anything I need to rest in that.  We have prayed since Dawson goes to school, that our travel will be best for him.   God knows when that is, and even if it isn't until summer then we need to rest in that fact.

No excuses

I keep facing the same responses about adoption and it has weighed heavily on me for weeks and even months.

I can't adopt because . . .

People let me give you a little bit of reality -

Do you see this ~

That's right I - the mom who has adopted FOUR children (almost) did not grow my own potato's, scrub them, boil them, and then mash them.

This is NOT organic.

Along with it I made a meatloaf from my favorite cookbook 

- the college students survival guide.  

You think I am lying don't you or just spewed pop all over your computer 

- I AM NOT!!

I have had to double the recipe - and then because I didn't start until late I realized the centers weren't completely cooked through and so I served the ends to my starving kids and continued heating the rest.

The worst part - we haven't even started school yet - I don't have an excuse.

I will admit it - I shouldn't have a hamster some days never mind all these kids.  I read blog after blog of mom's grinding their own flour, baking their own bread (and encase your confused I buy Sara Lee whole grain WHITE bread).

The point is you don't have to be perfect to adopt.  

You don't have to be the best homemaker, 

the best cook, 

super crafty, 

supermom

or wealthy.

ALL you have to be is OPEN.

Because I guarantee that those waiting kids do not CARE!

they don't have warm enough clothes, 

enough food to eat,

a name,

or the love of a family.

Your failings are still 100 times better than the best person currently in their lives.

if you are hearing the call - PLEASE stop with the excuses.

LOA!!

I'm late posting - heck I have been terrible about blogging - and even worse blogging for real LOL!

BUT we received our LOA on 1/2/14

Have I even shared his name?  I don't think so -

We wanted a name with the Da (not the long A but like when your Dr wants you to open wide to look at your throat.)

His Chinese name is YueDa, he is 11 - we want an American name for him, and a Biblical one.

I looked and looked - there are not many names that fit into our requirements above.

Then I saw Dawson - it means Son of David - hmmm now most would say

 but your husband's name is Chris.  

But all I could think of when I read the meaning was that being the son of "King" David fit him perfectly - 

a child who was a son for 2 years (until we assume they figured out something was wrong) 

and now our son, 

but most importantly a forever son.  

And it flows perfectly with our older two.

Then we wanted a nickname for him - our oldest goes by his initials and Brahm could if he wanted, so onto a vowel name.

Ezekial - means God Strengthens - just perfect!!

And his nickname can be Dek (said like Dex) I know you are rolling your eyes by now but our oldest is Tak and EVERYONE calls him that LOL!

So, in just about 3 months Dawson Ezekial (do I add a second middle YueDa)? will be joining us.  We are excited and scared to death at the same time.  I so know God has this, I know we are following His path and I know that it's my humanness that is worried about the details.  So as the new year dawns upon us I am trying more and more to rest in His word, allowing him to navigate this ship and not worry about where it's going and how we are gonna get there!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

We wish you all the most Blessed Christmas season filled with joy, love and family!!

The front of our card

The reality of our family LOL!

** We know many out there pray for our family - we are days away from getting LOA (they think) and Satan is attacking like nothing I have ever seen.  Dawson is an amazingly special child and we are begging you keep our family covered over the next days and weeks.***

God's Hand

For those of you who have been here a while you know Tao is our little "fisher of men".  Part of is what we call the puppy factor, but the other part is that I truly believe he has God's work to do.  It is nothing short of shocking to witness, shocking and oh so humbling.

Believe me when I say that I have had to put away ever bit of adoption knowledge we ever read, (and we read a lot because of Cav.)

So today was such an amazing experience . . . so much so I wanted to stand on top of the mountains and scream so people could hear me.

This story is as much for us as it is for you.  To remember that God very much is at work, uses the least of these to do His work.  We are his humble servants, listening at His whispers without including our own humanness.

So we have transferred from football to wrestling.  Besides our big boy I have 2 little ones who are crazy about wrestling.  In addition, the high schoolers love Brahm and Tao ( they love Cav too, but he just isn't quite ready to wrestle yet.)

Tao sat to watch the mat be lifted to the ceiling, and two high schoolers plopped right down next to him!

This morning as I was getting kids ready to come for our first all day tournament, Tao threw a fit (far and few between but really the kid is 3 - it's normal.)  I just felt he was supposed to be with us, so we finally calmed him down although we ended up missing big brother's first match.

Anyhow, midway through the day, this big cowboy stood next to where we sat on the bleachers, and struck up a conversation with Tao.  I am talking cowboy hat, huge belt buckle EVERYTHING!  We left and came back and the man drifted towards us again (not in a creepy way - he had come from Oklahoma to watch his nephew wrestle LOL).

AS this cowboy was talking to us and playing with Tao - one of the coaches from the christian school came up and asked if Tao was Chinese, I told him his story and we got to chatting.  The cowboy told my friend his parents had been a missionary in Korea.  We chatted with the cowboy some more and the baby gravitated towards him.  I think I have mentioned before but Tao loves being up, and held.  I assured the cowboy it was ok to pick him up.

Now comes the God part!  We asked if he had any kids - one he said and she was 32.  I asked if he had grandkids, because truly this man was wonderful with Tao.   I saw the tears behind his eyes (and I thought oh no don't make him cry in this noisy auditorium filled with wrestling matches and screaming parents LOL).  As he proceeded to tell us this story I watched Tao snuggle against this man's chest, heart to heart and lay quietly, completely at peace.

He proceeded to tell us he got a girl pregnant at 18, and paid for an abortion.  He entered the pro rodeo circuit and knew he would never be home to care for a child.  She couldn't go through with it, and luckily was able to go into a home for unwed mothers.  They cared for her until she delivered the baby. He had to go to court to relinquish his rights as a parent (and it sounds like it was a horrible experience.)  The child found him years later.  She was raised by a doctor and had, had a great life.

And as I stared at this gruff man, in the black hat, snuggling a once unwanted baby, I prayed that this somehow would heal a heart that was still wounded 32 years later.

I assured him that he had made the right and most unselfish decision.

He held that baby for another 30 minutes, as he slept.  Hours later when we left, I sent Tao over to say good bye (he also bought the little boys candy LOL!)

He hugged our little boy, and then quickly left the gym, head down.  I pray for his healing, and marvel at how God can use a tiny 3 year old in the craziest of places.

I know nothing of this man's faith, but I did speak of ours.  IF he isn't a believer I pray that this would open a door for him.

Detour

I thought I finally had it all together - we scheduled Cav to get his new legs made in Nov (you know so it would fall under our already met deductible).

Getting his leg casted for new spiderman legs!

His prosthetist suggested we make an appointment with the amputee clinic for the same day . . . and we were able to get in which was our first God sighting (and I probably should have know something was up LOL!)

I can't remember if I have mentioned this hoopty walk Cav has developed.  We first noticed it shortly after getting his arm casts off in April.  We thought it was either a bad habit or the weight of the casts had somehow changed how he felt his center of gravity was.

It just became more and more noticeable.  Our PT thought maybe it was his hip and core strength.

Heck, even the PT at the amputee clinic thought the same thing.

Yeah it took our fabulous orthopedist one look and he ordered x-rays.

TO catch newer people up Cav has Tibial Hemimilia - they were able to save, and straighten his tibia when he had amputation surgery - summer 2012.  They did this by chopping the tibia in 3 pieces, and placing a rod through it - which also meant 8 weeks in a cast which lasted 10 days before he had to be recasted - it was a VERY long summer.  We were warned he would need another osteotomy in the future but it was my impression it would be closer to middle or even high school.

NOT 18 months later.  I just wanted to cry, I was sure I was close.  When we accepted Cav's file, I read as much as I could.  I never saw anything about curving tibia's, continuous surgery AND we had no idea about the mild radial club hands or neglect, or sensory or, or, or.  My heart breaks for this kid.  God, he just needs a break - I prayed right there in that room.

They decided to do another x-ray because he hyperextends his knee backwards.

Even as a nurse I don't quite get how this makes a difference and really I DON"T CARE!!

AS I looked at the surgery schedule I realized a January surgery (the soonest he could do (heehee so much for our deductible.) would put Cav in a cast until MARCH - oh no March is when I am supposed to be getting Dawson (you know because you can plan these things LOL).  Of course he would have to be recasted for new legs after getting his cast off, and this would be another 2 weeks at least ugh

GOD I CAN'T DO THIS I WANTED TO SCREAM!!

And then we received HIS blessing.

We still have surgery scheduled for January 20th, but they are only going to do a 2 plate (usually you hear 8 plate surgery) where they place screws and a plate into the growth plate on the outer side and let the inner grow until it evens out a bit.

The second x-ray bought us time.

He will still need the osteotomy within the next 2 years.  So please keep him in your prayers.  He asked if we were going to take the rest of that leg.  We assured him we weren't and it wouldn't look any different.  But my heart breaks for him - he meets every challenge head on and I know he will do amazing but it's a lot.

He will be 2 weeks without his prosthetic.  They think he should be able to use forearm crutches (mainly because the weakness in his hands.)  THey will lock the prosthetic knee and they think he will be fine.  PLEASE specifically pray for no snow or ice during the end of January.  We do have his wheelchair (and scored the next size up at goodwill last night for $30!!) but the concern is without the physical activity his sensory issues will raise it's ugly head.

For those who are freaks like me here is the second x-ray.  You can see the pressure indent just above the white circle.  This shows how the forces of his leg and alignment are off and how much his center of gravity is off (I think that's right.)