Monday, December 10, 2012

One year of redemption!

Could it be true - did we really make it through an entire year?

(When your children ask WHY they need to learn about math please tell them about this poor lost momma who can NOT figure out the international date line and when our 1 year mark really is LOL!)


WOW!!

They have learned what it means to 
be a family,
walk,
smile,
listen, 
feel better
be independent,
go to school

They have experienced a thousand firsts and our FAMILY got to cheer them along the way!

Since I am not a rainbow and unicorns kind of person (ok little Griffen is turning me that way LOL!)

I feel I also must write the following.  I went into adoption focused on the Special Need.  Nothing else really mattered.  I read the books, but my mind focused onto the poverty of body not of mind.

This year has been the HARDEST of my life.  A year ago, my husband and I sat and looked with huge eyes ate a boy covered in vomit, covered in bruises, something wrong with his hands, sunken eyes, incredibly pale, and scars all along his torso.  He rocked, screamed, fought and terrorized our family.  We made the hardest decision of our life ~ and ultimately we chose to bring him home, unsure of if we were even equiped to handle his needs.  His real needs - because his special need of malformed legs - were and are the least of his needs.  

Add in a heartbroken little girl who screamed a gutteral cry as she tried to escape the hotel room.  And we wondered what we were thinking.  I had heard "why do Christians adopt" - in those dark days I knew why.  

Without HIM we couldn't have done it.  

We would not have the human strength to face the challenges ahead.  

We still are facing daily challenges.  I no longer get my nails done, I didn't do my hair for months (but decided that I should LOL), I have lost several friends as we have had to institute boundaries (again which should have been in place all along), things have been hard, I didn't think I could make it this far.

BUT ~

When I reflect on this year, I smile through my tears.

Our birth children have also grown tremendously,
They have a passion for the orphan,
THey know they are priviledged and now look for opportunities to share,
They love Cav & Fei and rejoice in their acheivements.
God is using them in unimaginable ways, AND they are open to him!

And me - 
HE has graced me with new friends - heart friends who don't judge my ineptness, but rejoice in my steps. (THANK YOU!)
Oh how I have grown ( and still have so much more to do)
When I look at the before pictures of our children - at their lostness, I see my heart 

BUT, I also see my growth in their smiles and confidence, not because we caused the transformation, but because I SEE everyday that God will redeem the least of these and that includes me.



Thursday, December 6, 2012

Turtle Pace

Between being gone
and Daddy being home
and
you know my focus on paperwork before that
and being neurotic for the last few months

and then the in your face realization ~
(or my friend Mary reminding me LOL!)

I HAVE SIX KIDS
(and those of you with more just shake your head due to my patheticness)

Anyhow, I walked into my house which looked like a tornado hit it

You know INSIDE!!

Of course we have only been home 4.5 days - which have been busy

BUT I gotta get this place in order
BEFORE I can really decorate for Christmas
and I dunno but
CHRISTMAS is coming!

Lets jsut say STRESS - especially when I had a snuggle bug today who wanted jsut to be cuddled.

So as with all things adoption
I realized that I wasn't going to be able to do all this
and you know feed the kids.

So I decided that slow and steady would be my current focus.

Genesis 33:14
So let my lord go on ahead of his servant, while I move along slowly at the pace of the flocks and herds before me and the pace of the children, until I come to my lord in Seir.


and you know it's ok, I can stand there staring at how nice and clean it looks and then turn around to the chaos LOL!


Ok, it doesn't even look that clean LOL!

AND jsut encase you just adopted a little 
I found this perfect shirt at Wally world
cuz you know 3 days of leftover popeyes chicken has my kids revolting!



It was only $3.25 and in the baby section up to 24 mos I think!



Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Back in the trenches

I always laugh and say

when my oldest was born we stayed home a month
#2 we stayed home 2 weeks
#3 well school started jsut about a week after we got home


And 4,5 well we did give them some more time which was great

BUT #6 - lets jsut hit our knees and thank GOD this baby is a smiley little trooper.

We flew into Denver on Saturday night,
Back to Denver Monday afternoon to drop of Grandma
and then

YEP back to DENVER today!

While I was in China daddy facetimed that he couldn't get Cav's legs on.

We finally came to the solution to try the shrinkers from after his surgery AND a pair (ok I don't have a single pair but you get the geist LOL) of knee hi pantihose -

Now mind you we put a "sock" on Cav's leg, then the liner (molded for his leg) and then another sock or several (1 leg had a total of 4 sock widths before I left) and then the prosthetic.

So we thought a knee hi would replace sock #1 and then remove all the other socks.  Finally he was able to get Cav's leg on YEAH!

I also told my husband to change the appt with beloved Mr Terry (the prothetist) to today.

Of course I forgot that an 11 am appt in Denver meant none of the littles got to go to school today and so I packed up my entourage and off we drove.

Mr Terry, heehee, said "I never have seen this happen so quickly. "

I told Mr Terry that I think every single one of our appts he has told us "he has never seen this before!"

Anyhow, God was good and we were able to find some of the thinnest prosthetic socks in his supply closet and determined we will need new legs in 4-6 weeks.  Yep encase you are counting that means we got them 9/12 replaced the metal part 6 weeks later cuz he had busted the knee and then replaced the sockets about 2 months after that! (mind you if you are adopting a child who will need prosthetics this is not the norm by any means, so don't freak!)

PRAISE cuz this gets us through Christmas!

My guess what has happened is that Cav's system has finally healed form the malnutrition and Giardia (yes 11 months later) and he can finally absorb nutrients from his food.  Well that, and God has a sense of humor.  SO although he is our second youngest and is surrounded by 3 dwarves, this boy of ours will be HUGE!!

Mr Terry had to take a picture for his wife (we love this man!)

And poor Griffen, I got no idea what this kid is thinking of his new homeland. . . 
when he walks into a room with legs stacked in the corner LOL!







Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Home & kids

Heehee yep, we forgot to post about our trip home but we arrived safe and sound on Saturday afternoon.  The kids had their last performance of their play at church so only daddy and Cav were there to meet us but it was perfect.  In fact a very old friend happened to be in the airport who I haven't seen in years.  It was perfect.

BUT I digress cuz I know you want to know how the flights were.

LONG - Cathay is as much of a cattle car as Delta was last time - so if you are traveling, I wouldn't spend any extra for a different airline - go with what is the cheapest and best schedule.

We flew from Guangzhou to Hong Kong this time (instead of bus etc.)  I don't think there is a fast easy solution to getting out of GZ but I felt this was better than the bus, different hotel room we did last time.

I swear we went through security about 8 times that day if not more.  So do NOT go buying drinks for the trip in GZ like we did - or you know take the waters so generously offered on the flight from GZ to HK cuz you too will be doing this!


 However, there is a seperate security for those doing a transfer in HK so look to the side as you are walking of you plane and head down the hall.  We made the mistake of going to the bathroom first and then had to stand in a longer line but it still wasn't bad.

LOVE HK airport.  Free wifi, plenty of good food and shopping.  We had 3 hours there which flew by after facetiming the kids and eating.




From Hong Kong we flew to San Francisco.  Let's jsut say we sat in the toddler section - and Griffen was the only adopted child in that section LOL!  We had terrible terbulance and there many long hours I sat in my seat with my head hanging over the nice little baggies the airlines provide.  I know you don't care about me.

Ok so in our toddler section of 2 rows we had a 
BARFER (not me thankfully but it didn't help my situations)
A SCREAMER!
and a sleeper.

Wanna guess which was mine!



Yep, our prince was the sleeper!

He watched Bolt (in English)
At dinner
got all snuggled in with a bottle
a little Melatonin
and periodic doses of the no-jet-lag tabs (I swear by them)

and he slept 13 of the 16 hours (I know I hate people like me too but thank the Lord, as I couldn't hold down my stomach and have cared for him too.)



San Francisco was awesome - we luckily asked which immigration line to go into (while standing in the huge US citizen line) and were sent to the NEW IMMIGRANT on which had one other family (who were really new immigrants)

The man was so incredibly nice.

Then we had to wait for all our bags (glad we had another 3 hr connection as there were 1000 bags they said)


Handed over our customs forms and headed for our last plane
(um don't take pics in the customs area LOL!)


Got of the plane and our little man went right to his daddy with a giggle and a grin!


LOVE this picture of them!!  
Mind you neither speaks the same language heehee!


Passed out on the 1 1/2 hr trip home and woke up to lots of fun decorations!


Heehee my husband had nicknamed Tao - the 2 foot tomato so he had morgan and my poor Aunt cut out green leaves to decorate the chinese lanterns into tomato's heehee!


My Aunt flew out from St Louis to help with the kids for the last part of our trip and she truly was the calvary!  She baked with Morgan, taught her to cross stitch, got the kids ready and took them to their play (including make up and hair LOL!) and a thousand other things!  Truly a blessing and an answer to so many prayers!


The kids were all so enamoured by Tao and bless his little heart he did great.  I am pretty sure I would have been scared LOL!  I don't think his feet hit the ground again until Monday when they went to school!  He 


LOVE this pic of our family!~


Sunday afternoon we had an impromptu get together with my brother and his family.  Our kids love their cousin!  And we were blessed with warm enough weather that we decided to head outside for lunch!  


Griffen did not miss a beat!  Truly this kid is an answer to so many prayers!


While the kids played outside, my husband and brother went inside to install a tiny stair railing for Tao 
These are the little things I love about my husband.  The baby fell down the stairs Sunday morning and he noticed that it was the only place in the house where we don't have the banister poles for Tao to hold onto.  He really is amazing in creating the few adaptations our kids need to live a "normal" life.



SLEEP -
Griffen is sleeping in our room.  The first two nights he would wake up crying (this baby goes from calm to hysterical in 5 seconds).  We do give him the tiny doses of Melatonin before bed, and a bottle.
Last night he went right to sleep and slept all night.

KIDS -
Our three bio kids have welcomed him into their family with the love and excitement that we have come to see from them.  When you think of it, truly it makes me proud of them, as well as so many of the other kids in the adoption community.  Opening up their hearts, their homes and their toys to a stranger to love forever.  The worst thing has been breaking up a fight over who gets to help with him or hold him.  We are also very aware of what we say and do so as not to start out with bad habits we need to break later.

FeiFei - that poor baby bawled when I walked int he door.  I think she held it in while I was gone but her past creeped in.  Hugs and cuddles and reminding her that we are a family, and that means we always come home (our mantra).  I think that this actually was a defining point for her in realizing this and that we love her so very much.  She has been her same happy self.  An interesting dynamic - once the big kids went to school on Monday she then stepped up and really took over playing with and caring for the baby.  He adores her!!

Cav - he had the most issues while I was gone.  I truly can say that he actually had less issues than we expected.  However, we (as in I) worked very hard to ensure that he was left with people who he can't manipulate.  There are always people in his environment that he can, but the main caretakers were very good at setting boundaries.  Truth be told, daddy was who I was worried about the most, but even he caught on after a few days.  That being said Cav's sensory issues have really showed.  We have 3 appts in about 10 days with our fabulous PT who will help get him back.  
    As far as Griffen and Cav, this is my heartbreak (again).  Although ideally we probably should have waited for several more years before adopting again I truly don't think it would have made a difference with Cav.  And beside ~ you know the whole God thing, the greater good was to get that baby of ours home.  The heartbreaking part of Cav and Griffen is once again we see where Cav has no idea how to play with another child.  So we have become very cognitive of helping guide him through appropriate ways to play with the baby, to relate with him etc.  I jumped for joy yesterday when Cav actually sat with Griffen and they were able to play blocks together.  Luckily, griffen is so easy it allows me the time and energy to continue with Cav.  
   Lastly,  I truly believe that having Griffen will ultimately be the best thing for Cav.  His younger brother will push him to atleast stay up to par as far as developmentally  and emotionally (there is a 2 year and 1 day age difference).  I am prepared that Griffen my surpass Cav at some point in these areas and we will deal with them when it happens.  The journey through China again helped me to process many of the things from last year.  I am not sure if Cav will always want to remain on the outer fringes of our family (where I think he feels the most comfortable).  But you know somewhere in China I realized I am ok with this.  It's heard to verbalize, but forcing the kid to be lovey dovey exuberent jsut might not be the best use of our energy.  My goal with him is to make sure he is a productive member of society and to know his family loves him fiercely, in fact we love him as he is (and that is huge).






Friday, November 30, 2012

Going Home!

No cute pics, although I do have some I can't wait to share. Another rainy day so we just relaxed at the hotel and GASP - packed lol! We leave bright and early tomorrow for our long journey home!

Although I dread the hours on the plane and the many different planes, I am beyond excited to finally be home. To hug the kids there, for our baby to meet his siblings and vice versa. Most especially to see my husband and for him to meet his son. Such a surreal thought and I am beyond excited!

Please pray our sweet little guy does well on the flights, and isn't to scared as once again his life is turned upside down.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

CA appointment and clarity

Today was the day!  I had Tao's outfit picked out for months.  One of the cutest American outfits for our sweet little boy.  Yeah, I left it home - you know with the socks for 2 out of 3 of us, part of our gifts and who knows what else LOL!

SO, the next best thing - this last minute buy from target in a 9 mos size I was sure was going to be to little BUT who can resist something so cute!

After meeting our angel I knew it was perfect for him - "Gift for all the ladies".

Anyhow, we had our consulate appointment, momma took an oath that I told the truth, handed over some paperwork and a signature and we are almost home free!



Tomorrow we get his visa and then we leave the following morning (sat) for our long ride to the best place on earth.

None to soon, the natives at home are starting to get restless.  Luckily, the Calvary arrived today and I am praying they will be good.

Since we have some time on our hands and today was clear we walked around the very.large block surrounding the Marriott.  It was quite an adventure.  We have seen many markets, but I have to say today's had the most ..um..surprising items.




After that we took the subway (I. Even did step by step which I will post later) to Beijing rd to show my son the very cool street underneath the current road.  It truly is amazing to be able to see a road that was used in 960 AD..

What I didn't expect to find in that mall was heartache.

I am used to the beggars, and the realization that these people were someone's children, our children that we have chosen to adopt.

No we aren't rescuing per say but when your child's future stares you inthe face and hands you a basket of money - isn't it really a rescue, the ability to prevent our kids from the same fate?

I don't know, all I know is I looked at a beggar today and saw my daughter.



I am used to the beggars, and the realization that these people were someone's children, our children that we have chosen to adopt.

No we aren't rescuing per say but when your child's future stares you inthe face and hands you a basket of money - isn't it really a rescue, the ability to prevent our kids from the same fate?

I don't know, all I know is I looked at a beggar (in the corner in yellow) today and saw my daughter.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Oh the strange things I've seen!

Before I begin the tale of our day I have to say the guide we have this time is worth his weight in gold.  Richard is Madison Adoption Associates main guide for Guangzhou as well as doing aloof their in country paperwork.  The man is crazy busy I am sure but you would never know it when he is with us.

He is making sure we get to see some of the sites while we are here, and his knowledge level is incredible.  When he tells us the history of China - I really wish my husband was wi me to hear it as I will never remember it all.

Although it was rainy we took our umbrella , bundled up baby (thanks again Safah for his hat), and headed out.  Our first stop was the Guangzhou temple  it was incredibly beautiful but the information on Buddhism was incredible.  He not only was able to explain the similarities and differences but why items were in the temple and what people were doing.  It really helped us understand ,many of the concepts which were never quite clear.

Afterwards he took us to the herbal market. He showed us the large building next door which is the eastern medicine hospital and that is why the herbal market sprung up.

He was able to tell us what the different items were especiallythe odd ones which made us laugh (or grossed out my embarrassed 14 year old lol).  We also went to an outdoor mall and tried a special treat which this calamari loving family actually got seconds LOL. I am sure our poor guide thinks we are freaks.

Griffen sat bundled up in his ergo and ate the different items offered to him!




















And
The mystery item - deer penis LOL