Help during the hard times

When we first brought Cav and Fei home, I walked off that plane and into the Dr's office.  I spent the first week in the hospital and in bed due to pneumonia and Norwalk Virus.  

People were so excited for us to be home but I couldn't answer the phone.  I wondered how long I could stay under my covers without facing the new world we had created.  I was in a very bad place.

Just now almost 2 years later, I look back and feel like I had been underwater that whole time, holding my breath.  Working so hard to just stay alive, keep from ruining our family, that when people wanted to know what to do to help I couldn't even imagine.

I definitely did NOT want them coming to my house, it was beyond shambles and I was so embarrassed.  Never mind the haunting thought that Cav would start raging or even worse they would find one of his disgusting events I had missed.

My brain was so unfocused, my entire body was numb, walking one step in front of the other.

Now I know that I/ we were in fact normal.  God was truly carrying us, and we should have let his followers the body of Christ in to help.

If you have a friend who has newly adopted or even within the last 2 years this is an incredible article on how to help!

READ THIS!!

I finally feel like we are swimming out of that abyss.  For those that are having a hard time please know that through all of that struggle, through all of that fear of having done the wrong thing, of ruining my family.  I am here to tell you that the contrary is true.

We all grew over that journey.  

Our kids, the people they are today are not who they were 2 years ago.  Their understanding, their compassion I can only stand in awe.  

I truly believe God allowed us to show our humanness - versus the supermom powers we all try to portray so that others around us can let down their guard.

For those in the struggle, especially those who have experienced the heart wrenching loss of dear friends, know that He will bless you with new ones who love you for who you are.

It is an amazing journey, take a breath, relax, you were made for this very moment.

Blessings

Back in His hands.

Laying it down.

You would think that I had learned how incredibly might our God is while doing our last adoption.

Have I also mentioned that ~ we ~ have a parent toddler relationship LOL!

I am sure He is like "when will this girl ever learn to trust me!"  Hmm, verbalizing that makes me think if a particular little boy living at our house!

Ok, so I mentioned we REUSED our dossier.

Over the past few weeks I have been hearing rumblings of changes to the reuse program.

Instead of LOI by the 1 year anniversary of Gotcha - you now have to be DTC -
no problem, way ahead of the game.

Then I started hearing of LOA's being held until new notarized letters of reference were sent to China.
Uh-Oh

Oh but wait they were people who reused but were taking a long time.

Ok still not worried.

THEN, I read the same request for someone reusing who brought their child home in Feb.

UGG! - time to freak.  I mean beyond freak out!

I spent about 24 hours in sheer panic mode.

And then I woke up Sunday, and the birds were singing and I remembered I am the tool and this is HIS plan.

Funny thing our sermon - yep right along those lines.  Trust Him, because when it comes to expanding His kingdom He will prevail.

Open my email today - and read

"I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago." Psalm 77:11 (NIV)


How easily we forget the perfect timing he orchestrated for our trip to China in Dec, saving us thousands on airline tickets, and working around a broken arm here, school, and placing us back home in time for Christmas Eve service.


How easily I forget that our impossible deadline to be DTC by June 12th and we . . . I mean HE blew that out of the water being DTC May 31st.  


So I lay our journey back in His hands, trusting and praying. 

Article 5 delay!

Ugh sometimes I jsut want to scream at this process.  Really once again I overnighted all our paperwork to our agency so it could be (at our expense of course) overnighted to China to sit for a freakin week!  The worst part is that we were charged for two overnight fees at $65 each (I believe) when we all know darn well that they were placed in the same envelope.

We received a form email written for a group that our Article 5 paperwork was dropped off at the consulate YESTERDAY NOT the 12th as we were led to believe.  This backs our Article 5 pickup to Nov 2nd not next week!

You know when I started this process I swore I wouldn't succumb to this BS.  We already have double the national average of kids, so I wasn't "desperate" right - WRONG!  I NEVER expected to become so attached to a couple of pictures of a child thousands of miles away.  So attached in fact that we aren't even  willing to make waves.

This is how I feel lately ~

But then I remember that eventually, all water eventually flows down hill to another treasure.

And they are worth every penny.