Being brave in the brokenness

The number one comment both good and bad was HOW we could have adopted again after bringing Cav home and having so many issues.

Whether you agree or not is fine -
You have to do what is right for your family,
and we did what was right for our family.

Was it crazy - YEP!
Would I suggest it - probably not.

BUT we are very strong in our faith, and we knew for a fact that God called us to adopt Tao.
It scared me to death.
I begged God the entire process,
"Dear Lord I can NOT do another adoption like we just did."

And you know what . . . God knew exactly what I needed at that time.

See, I have learned that adding Tao was not another mouth to feed,
or another poor orphan to deal with,
or that we adopted him with an agenda.

We did not - in fact we knew it was crazy,
Tao's file was a disaster,
For those that have forgotten this beautiful baby we committed to adopting was listed at 6 months old,
we found him at the mid bottom of the shared list,
A YEAR LATER.
He was unwanted, his 5+ diagnoses scary at best.
We had no other agenda for him, except to get him the medical care we thought he needed.

And 2 years later I have learned several things,
God wasn't wrong -
Our family needed Tao, to bring the sunshine into our rainy days.
Even on our worst days, it's his fat little hands patting me and giving me a hug that I remember.

He proved to us how right adoption can be.
He became a barometer for Cav,
an emulator of sorts.

Tao's sweet spirit healed all of us.
I can honestly say without Tao,
we would never have been brave enough to pursue Dawson.

So yes, to the rest of the world adopting Tao was crazy,
many tell us we should never have adopted again until we got Cav settled and figured out
(If I lived by that belief I would have had ONE child BTW.)
Someone always has an issue, a friend issue, a school issue, a crappy start in life issue, a medical issue.

The truth is the world will NEVER be perfect to adopt.
Our messy lives will NEVER be perfect enough.
We won't EVER have enough money,
enough room,
enough,
enough,

But that simple act of saying YES,
somehow fills all those enoughs,
or disposes of them.

I often think of Moses, did you know he wasn't eloquent or quick of speech.  He must have thought God was crazy not to pick someone better to do his work.  But you know Moses did amazing things, and God provided for him to do His work.

(Cav is still doing great on his meds, the MTHFR results were shocking to say the least but we have started him on a medication that is already processed Folic Acid - we will see if this makes any other difference.)