Monday, September 30, 2013

Field Day triumphs and woes!

THere are some days I jsut want to hide in my bedroom and cry.

Today was Field Day - I HATE field day.  My kids can't do stuff, they can't, they can't, they can't.

BUT I NEVER EVER, EVER let on to them.

I dread the day in silence, plan on attending the event to try an put out fires before they begin and be prepared to have a special treat at home for them.

WHen we only had a Brahm it was easy - I spent my entire day following his group around, anticipating and making the playing field as fair and accessible as possible LOL.

With 4 littles it's jsut NOT possible.  I get a much needed work out running from group to group but still I have learned I have to depend on my teachers to anticipate and care enough to accomodate my kids on the fly.

And you know it was great for 3 of them.  Ok Tao didn't really have field day as he goes in the morning.  BUT Brahm's class loves him, as does his young, future loving teacher.  So he joined them LOL!

Brahm ran and for the most part stayed up with his group in ALL events!!  THIS was the first year he could do that!!  We cheered, and were beyond excited for him.  Previous years (as we are jsut about a month into school),  Field day became the demarcation line where we could see his status in class go from cool little guy to something is wrong with that kid.

It has been beyond heartbreaking to watch.  BUT I think we are past that with him, and my heart sings!!  We were blessed with a gloriously warm day which helped his joints.  WOnderful kids who would match up with him at stations.  Apparently he did get drug in the 3 legged race, but at 32 lbs - well it's not hard to do.

Fei - well she was Fei with her radiant smile!  My favorite were the hurdles.  Apparently, she ran up to them, looked at them and then crawled under them!! LOVE

So our littles did incredible.  I am so relieved and excited that they had fun, had fun with their friends and are still as awesome before this day!!


And then there is Cavanaugh - this may make people mad, but we only accomodate our kids some (ie I went to find the hand trike because I knew he couldn't do the bike race).  But most of the activities we ask them to try.  That's it, step up, do your best and be respectful of the people volunteering their time.  You don't have to be the best, you don't even have to finish but you must try.  (I am talking frisbee toss, ball throw etc.)

(THis is the 3rd year Cav has participated in one capacity or another so it was not new.  He has been slowly spiraling downhill as the predicted honeymoon is slowly waining.)

Cav decided he was not going to do any of it, and was defiant and nasty to his teacher and helpers.  So much so that they called me.  Luckily, I was on my way and we had a little come to Jesus meeting of how he is expected to act ~ period.  Both my husband and I are of the premises that teachers are not paid enough for the crap they endure.  I have to admit I am horrified that it is my son causing so many issues ugh

Cav loves to act more disabled than he is, and his teachers well, they have great hearts but totally enable the "poor disabled boy".  By the time I got to the school from my bible study at 11:30 he had eaten everyone's food from the wagon, gone to the bathroom twice, went to see the nurse and totally disrupted the entire classes time.  The hard thing with manipulative kids is that you can't pinpoint what is going on but you are totally and utterly exhausted and frazzled.

Giving him the benefit of the doubt I let him apologize to his teacher and rejoin his group.

THis lasted for a bit but then all hell broke lose.

Let's jsut say we left the school early with him screaming at the top of his lungs.

The sad part is that people only see Cav for his legs.  Not the child behind them.  If he had been born with legs I can guarantee he would never be allowed to act like he does.  It is such a disservice for his future.

My heart also breaks because those around us that saw me carrying my screaming leg flailing 5 year old out of the school will go back to their preconceived notion ~ that's why those orphanage kids shouldn't be adopted.  And THAT breaks my heart.


  1. and this is why I love you!!!! Praying for Cav's healing! I love how FeiFei thinks!!! <3 I could see Hagan doing the same thing!! :) Way to go Brahm!!!

  2. Oh beautiful Mama.... you do such a wonderful job of truly knowing each of your children. You are amazing at advocating for and, when necessary, insisting on the care they need. You look straight ahead into Cav's beautiful future and never mind who is looking at you in the here and now for doing what needs to be done. No apologies!