Saturday, December 15, 2012

FeiFei - 1 year

Sorry, things are crazy here and this was supposed to go up the day after Cav's.

FeiFei came to us after a 5 hour car ride and stopping at 3 other hotels to drop off the other cildren she had traveled with.  Wanna talk about a disaster waiting to happen ugh!

We would find out months later (June) that her foster mother must have said something to get Fei into the car that made her (Fei) believe this was temporary and she would be coming to get her.  Wanna talk about a disaster waiting to happen ugh!

We had been told when we got LOA (in Sept) that FeiFei had been returned to the orphanage awaiting our arrival (you know in Dec).  Apparently she threw such a fit (or the foster mom did) they returned her until the "big black car" came.

So a beautiful little girl arrived wearing 4 pairs of pants, 3 shirts, a thick coat, with her hair all done up and two huge bags full of vitamins, food, candy, toys - you name it.  And we were puzzled.  She was 3 hours late and Cav had already made himself at home (this would become an issue later and a warning to other dual adoption parents.)  ANyhow, it was dinner time, we were already in shock over Cav, but had been awaiting our princess.

The kids were so excited!

Fei was beyond frightened.

The orphanage workers were tired.

THey gave us all of her information in a matter of fact manner in our cramped little hotel room, and then left.  No sooner had that door closed then her wide eyes turned into alligator tears - she ran for the door - and the most heartbreaking guttural scream came from her little body.  (I had to go with them to get something and I heard her in the elevator).  I was heart broken as those elevator doors closed, praying the other 4 would be able to calm her (daddy and our 3 bio kids).  Iquickly finished my work and literally ran back to our room.  All was silent.  I walked in and our poor terrified girl was sound asleep on our daughter - all f her clothes on, her fingers tightly clenched around her backpack.

I prayed, and slept, and woke, and prayed.  All night I prayed for this little girls heart.

Morning dawned, she looked at us, we handed her food and she. . . gave us a weary smile.  When she saw the big kids & Brahm she smiled big and really things have not slowed down from there. 

 We know that people with dwarfism seem to have a happy gene, and we saw this with her.  She has a zest for life,  that exudes from her very pores.  Her signature smile draws everyone in and all of my months of worry about her disappeared.

And jsut like Cav, no story is always rainbows and unicorns (although she is pretty close LOL)  We know we are blessed.  Cav was so hard and Fei was so easy that she got lost in the shuffle a bit.  What I know now is that we had to really llok for signs of distress in her.  She presents "sad" as acting like a "normal" child - meaning her smile isn't quite as bright.  We have learned to use her pearly whites as our signal LOL!  The happier she is the brighter her smile.

When she was very recently home and I pulled out her book from China (half the sky) she cried and I held her.  But it was hard on both of us, so we put it away for a few months.  The next time was much better.  In June, I found her in her room crying.  She finally said - my China momma no come get me. . . dis my family?  Oh I was crushed.  All those months she must have woken up thinking that today might be the day they were coming.  

We talk about CHina momma alot (foster mom).  It's funny the things that jog her memory.  We have decided to make it a natural part of our conversation.  I have noticed within the past month she really hasn't talked about them so we will see.

She was the child who bawled giant tears when I walked in the door with Griffen.  I had to sit on the stairs with her and remind her - "we are a family, Family ALWAYS comes home."  I think it really was a defining time for her.

Feifei likes food - ALOT!  This has been really our only issue with her - that and her lack of movement which doesn't help with the food issue.  She will still sneak some food, and feels deprived if anyone else had food left on their plate.  She gained almost 5 lbs while I was gone (and this was with instructions not to overfeed her.)  I know, you all can think I am mean BUT her short little legs carry a lot of weight and I would hate for our vivacious little girl to be wheelchair bound or need surgery early because of her weight.  So, I make up everyone's plates and then serve them - Cav needs extra, Brahm has terrible eating patterns, and I give Fei a normal child size serving.  We also talk about focusing on her food instead of zoning out.  Also we try to get her to move a little more.  I am talking about sitting in the same exact spot for hours if we forget.

School - FeiFei was a child who related going to school with a family - so she started prek shortly after coming home.  I had to jump through hoops but luckily got her into the one at our church.  She was completely on target when she came home.  Her teacher finally pulled us to the side and asked if her birthdate was correct - we don't know.  She said well by birthdate she is the youngest and by fine motor skills she was the msot advanced.  She thought Fei was closer to 9 months when found not 3 mos and we concurred.  We won't make any official changes but it helped to decide on sending her to Kindergarten.

I have to tell you this girl in the social aspects is a rockstar.  Everyone loves her!  Academics are coming slowly.  Some concepts she has no issues with and others she can't remember at all!  Our biggest struggle is her freezing when she is questioned.  She gives my this wide eyed look like I am an idiot for questioning her (whether in trouble or how many apples are there.)  We are slowly getting her to understand it is ok to answer even if she doesn't know the answer.

Health - besides her scary surgery she is doing awesome!  She will still probably need her tonsils out but I am putting it on the back burner for a bit longer.  Her breath still is bad, but her snoring has decreased significantly.

There is a special bond with our 3 children with dwarfism.  She and Brahm immediately hit it off as they did with Griffen.

She is truly a blessing and brightens everyones day.


  1. Such a beautiful girl inside and out! How beautiful! <3

  2. I just love your Fei! Her little spirit shines SO brightly. She reminds me of our Juliana, who also had a rough beginnings. Life is so hard for these kids, but God has such big plans for them. You are one lucky mama!!!