Friday, May 27, 2011

How do you know this is your child?

The number one question we are asked, and by far the biggest thing I worried about while we were trying to 'decide!' was how will I know this is my child.  In retrospect I decided to post how it happened to us TWO different ways, with hopes that it may help someone in the future!

Our journey to adoption started with us KNOWING we wanted to adopt another child with dwarfism. We have met someone from almost every field possible including firefighter, congressional member, business, engineer and parents with dwarfism. But we also learned that in some countries they are a bad omen, and do not have much potential for work as they grow older etc. SOOO we signed up for  BTW you can search dwarfism and they will just pop right up. Me, I searched the lists for months LOL!! That's ok, I added many children to our prayer list in the meantime.

Anyhow, we came across a darling little girl who I thought could be jsut right. We toyed with the idea, we tried to justify the time in country to get her, the trips and by the time we asked for her file she already had a family. I was so sad, but guess what - we found her adopting parents and she is a perfect fit for them!!

Then we found and signed up to see their waiting children and also included a profile. I started receiving emails. Some fit our request and others didn't. Most importantly, we weren't looking at children in countries we were to old for. Then one day our sweet angel arrived in my email. One look at her and I about fell over. She looked jsut like my daughter in the summer! I immediately emailed the agency who listed her on Rainbow Kids and the rest is history. Mind you, we were looking for a calm, quiet little boy. What we received was - - well a little girl who is as charming and charismatic as our other children. I still look through files but everytime I look at her picture and see her big eyes I know she is ours!

Our little girl Felicity who is 3 (4 when school starts)

People also say you will receive a sign in the pictures. I thought yeah right! Guess what, my daughter had those same red shoes when she was little! Every picture she is wearing those red shoes! It's a God wink and I know she is our daughter.

Choosing #2 - if you got this far then this is the story to read!
We were adament that we were only adding 1 more child to our home PERIOD!! Our social worker knew this and still approved us for 2. When my husband READ the entire homestudy including the TWO children under age 6 part, never said a word. Really . . . not a word, and I was waiting for the bomb to hit when he got to that page. Anyhow, still only adopting one. I filled out the I800-A and started to put 1 and then called our agency. Just put 2 just encase they said. Ok whatever.

In the meantime, I kept checking the photolistings. I asked about a few but no one really struck me like little Felicity did. Then Good Friday service about killed me, and I thought just look again. I asked for a boy in the same province and received 3 possibilities. I knew my limits and what I could and couldn't do, 5 kids, 2 dwarfs with potential mobility issues there were a lot I couldn't do. These 3 were darling but only one potentially fit. Note the calm quiet shy child we originally were looking for, but now I was worried that our clan would scare him to death. I told DH to pray about him and what he thought. His answer after three days "not him but another.' REALLY!! I was expecting NO!! Since our search didn't pan out for the same province I though OK, 1 family 3 dwarfs it'll all be fine. Then I looked at our homestudy. Missed the 0-6 part LOL!! One little guy was the perfect age but with a broken heart I had to turn away from him because he really had significant mobility issues. Probably one of the hardest parts of this process. I was done. We are back to jsut bringing home Felicity and I was ok with that. We decided we would donate to the amazing agencies we have come across instead.

Did I mention my fleece to God was that this child too would come in my email - -really bad fleece LOL!! The day after I decided no more, that we were done, I received a note from an agency who had a little guy on  I had all but given up hearing from them, but God's timing is perfect. They were kind enough to send his file although he was no longer exclusive to their agency. I opened it up and just wept. Yep he was from the SAME PROVINCE as our daughter!!

Our baby Cavanagh who jsut turned 3

As for his God wink in his pictures, his shirt says OK. Is his diagnosis scary - - yep. I will have a rough year when they get home as far as his medical, but he met my criteria of having a physical need that can be fixed.

So there is the kids story. We sent the LOI for him on his 3rd birthday and we jsut can't wait to hold them in our arms.


1 comment :

  1. OHHHH!!! What an amazing story! God is so good!