Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Room Sharing - 3 boys

I have to say the number one hardest thing we have encountered adopting 4 kids in the last few years was trying to figure out bedrooms, clothing storage and sleeping arrangements.

When we were preparing to bring Cav and Fei home - we made her room up in the darling mermaid sea life - and Cav was in the room with Brahm

For that year Cav rotated between the room with Brahm and our bedroom (Cav roamed the halls at night and would either wake everyone up or steal us blind.)

Because of the continued problems with Cav and no one sleeping we tried Fei in with Brahm (he had a bunkbed and a trundle), and Cav by himself in his own room and Tao in our bedroom.

Then the biggest mistake of our lives we put Cav and Fei in a room together (she snores rather loudly and was keeping Brahm and Tao up ugh .  .  .  .  Cav basically spent the entire time brainwashing her to steal for him, and that no one in the family loved her.  I am sad to say it took us about 6 mos to catch on and another almost 18 mos to get her back.  (I hesitate mentioning this but unfortunately his teacher has witnessed him doing the same to some of the children at school who are more needy in spirit.)

We emptied my hubby's loft study (upstairs) put up curtains and made it into a darling room just for her.  It has made a huge difference and I believe we finally have our girl back.

The little boys room had the pottery barn bunks we had found on craigslist.
When Dawson came home we just put him on the unused top bunk.  Although he is small, he weighs a ton, and every time he would turn it would wake Brahm up and eventually Tao - grrr seriously people.

Since Dawson is older and well, used to kids from orphanages we tried him in Cav's room.

Yeah - today we found that Cav stole all of Dawson's Christmas presents and either ate or broke them.

So as I was talking to my hubby about what to do, it dawned on me the bunks were originally made to be separated!!

I had my big kids help me and with a few rearrangements this is what we came up with.  I LOVE it!  and I think - HOPE, PRAY this will be the final arrangement for a bit LOL!

Luckily, our rooms in the house are large, unfortunately the closets are small and the number of bedrooms are few - BUT I have resigned myself that Cav MUST have a room to himself for the mental safety of our other kids.   Luckily, we finally have an appt with someone to help us with him in just about 2 weeks.


  1. The rooms are cute. Hope things work out! I know Cav is tough - I know from the outside looking in we all have no idea what the day to day is like... but you know what his beginnings were and you've also posted recently about progress he has made. It's slow and hard and might always be... but please don't give up on him! Love is definitely a verb and the action to loving him probably takes more work, especially when it comes so easy for Tao or the other littles... but Cav just pulls at my heartstrings. You will continue to make strides. Just remember the things he does aren't his fault. RAD is real. With all the additions, it has probably shaken him up that there is no stability and security for him and thus affects his attachments to you. BUT KEEP TRYING. You know he needs that one on one and to feel like he is important and that he is safe and loved. He has issues, that are NOT his fault. This world is a cruel horrible place and did horrible things to him before you found each other. I love that boy of yours! I'll keep you all in prayer. I know it gets tough and frustrating, but dont give up on him!!

  2. Seems like room shuffling is a sport in big families. We've done countless permeations over the years. We're actually building another bedroom right now, which will set off another shuffle.

  3. We have our RADiant One in a room by himself, it is the safest option for everyone right now. Also, we have another child with RAD who, also, has a room by himself for another few months then we'll try integrating our oldest son back in with the one little guy. Its a science, this RAD/adoption bedroom placement thing....