and you know why . . . . because it is actually GOOD!
We found some homeopathic medication for Cav that reduces anxiety, by the end of the summer I was at my wits end with the constant rages. Imagine your worst 2 year old temper tantrum EVER and then times that by 20 a day.
So I was ready to quit (but since somehow that is not on the mother's list of options) I was trying everything that possibly worked for anyone on my FB groups for really hard kids. I bought books, I researched treatments, I talked to EMDR specialists. THen we tried the L-theanine supplements (whole foods)
A week later we experienced our FIRST sunday as a family where we didn't have a fit - NOT one. My husband looked at me with wide eyes and said "I don't want to mention it BUT I think those meds are working!!"
That was August and 2 months later I think we are finally in a place of being able to enjoy our whole family.
I feel really bad knowing almost all of his issues - to the point others advised he may have high functioning autism - were almost exclusively based upon anxiety. Hmmm, it makes sense though.
I am NOT saying its unicorns and rainbows but can I tell you the first time he actually cried - a heartfelt normal cry - I bawled.
It's really hard to think he has been here almost 3 years. In many ways it has flown by - in others it has grown and stretched me in ways I could NEVER have thought possible. Adoption IS about growth - MINE.
So we moved several of our kids to the mandarin immersion school - we left Cav at the K-12 down the street. I am not sure I ever mentioned but he developed a lateral lisp learning english so he receives speech therapy. In addition, because Cav was alingual until we got him at 3.5 years there is an expectation that he will have comprehension issues as school work get harder. And frankly - his life in China sucked (I am so sorry but there is no other word).
So he basically is in the elementary school by himself, and I believe not having siblings around all the time has also decreased his stress.
However, as with any child, first grade is hard. He is actually pretty darn smart in math which we are so excited for him! However, the independence of 1st grade is causing some issues. I love his teacher as she is willing to be educated and so she has implemented boundaries for him, encourages adults not to be his only social interaction.
There are many parts that break my heart for him. We often talk through how to act around the other kids at school. Thankfully the kids treat him no different (except when appropriate) due to his legs. We went back to school and they all came running, excited to see him after the summer, and he just blew most of them off.
Tao is 2 years younger but still higher developmentally than Cav. It's both good and I am sure hard to have this tiny terror who has all the social skills Cav does not.
On the leg front - we were fortunate to meet the man who designed the tail for Dolphin Tale. He actually felt Cav could handle a hydraulic knee. In classic Cav fashion he learned to walk on the thing in about 3 passes of the room. He also was so responsible and took his legs off before going into the sandbox. So in September when he couldn't even walk anymore we were at a loss. A trip to Denver to see our leg man resulted in a blown hydraulic cylinder ugh - really Cav 3 months LOL! THe unfortunate part is the only tool in the US is broken so they had to send it to Germany. Luckily they sent us a loaner!!
So continue to pray for this boy of ours. He is proof that there is definite redemption in adoption but the cost can be so high with some of our kids.