One year of redemption!

Could it be true - did we really make it through an entire year?

(When your children ask WHY they need to learn about math please tell them about this poor lost momma who can NOT figure out the international date line and when our 1 year mark really is LOL!)

WOW!!

They have learned what it means to 

be a family,

walk,

smile,

listen, 

feel better

be independent,

go to school

They have experienced a thousand firsts and our FAMILY got to cheer them along the way!

Since I am not a rainbow and unicorns kind of person (ok little Griffen is turning me that way LOL!)

I feel I also must write the following.  I went into adoption focused on the Special Need.  Nothing else really mattered.  I read the books, but my mind focused onto the poverty of body not of mind.

This year has been the HARDEST of my life.  A year ago, my husband and I sat and looked with huge eyes ate a boy covered in vomit, covered in bruises, something wrong with his hands, sunken eyes, incredibly pale, and scars all along his torso.  He rocked, screamed, fought and terrorized our family.  We made the hardest decision of our life ~ and ultimately we chose to bring him home, unsure of if we were even equiped to handle his needs.  His real needs - because his special need of malformed legs - were and are the least of his needs.  

Add in a heartbroken little girl who screamed a gutteral cry as she tried to escape the hotel room.  And we wondered what we were thinking.  I had heard "why do Christians adopt" - in those dark days I knew why.  

Without HIM we couldn't have done it.  

We would not have the human strength to face the challenges ahead.  

We still are facing daily challenges.  I no longer get my nails done, I didn't do my hair for months (but decided that I should LOL), I have lost several friends as we have had to institute boundaries (again which should have been in place all along), things have been hard, I didn't think I could make it this far.

BUT ~

When I reflect on this year, I smile through my tears.

Our birth children have also grown tremendously,

They have a passion for the orphan,

THey know they are priviledged and now look for opportunities to share,

They love Cav & Fei and rejoice in their acheivements.

God is using them in unimaginable ways, AND they are open to him!

And me - 

HE has graced me with new friends - heart friends who don't judge my ineptness, but rejoice in my steps. (THANK YOU!)

Oh how I have grown ( and still have so much more to do)

When I look at the before pictures of our children - at their lostness, I see my heart 

BUT, I also see my growth in their smiles and confidence, not because we caused the transformation, but because I SEE everyday that God will redeem the least of these and that includes me.