WOW, you know when you read people's blogs about their perfect little adoptions and then don't ever read their blog again cuz they are living in fairytale land (especially when all he$$ is breaking loose at your house). Skip the part on Griffen and go to the middle of the post cuz I would hate lose my bloggy friends!
You know some kids are jsut easy. Griffen is one of them. We have our adoption issues ~ mainly he likes jsut about anyone else over me which breaks my heart but then I get an evil laugh in my head and think Buddy another week and your stuck with me LOL!
It's not even that bad,
you know he cries when I pick him up & he is sitting with JieJie,
cries when I discipline one of the other minions,
screams bloody murder when he has to take a shower,
or bath.
He was crying when I walked in the door so now he comes with me LOL!
He also smiles and laughs when I feed him,
falls asleep on my shoulder,
hugs our friends but if I put my coat on he is ready to come with me.
I guess it's a perspective thing. As long as I take my hurt feelings out of the equation, he has adapted nicely.
He is NOT banging his head on the wall,
scratching and clawing the siblings
wiping gross unmentionables everywhere
like some child who will remain nameless, did.
Griffen LOVES his brothers and sisters,
he plays with them all.
He is happy, happy, happy (except at bath time).
He didn't stress over Christmas,
loved his presents,
played with his toys,
loved the food.
Dude, the child is a dream
AND I thank GOD every day (not saying God wasn't their with Cav) but to be honest I spent more time praying over Griffen. I jsut couldn't have done another Cav.
And I sure couldn't have done a hard child right now.
Daddy sells guns, to say daddy hasn't been around much would be an understatement. We have not seen him except for Christmas day. In addition, he takes one of our two big kids to help him at the shop. Even with 20 employees it has been nuts. I had my meltdown, Christmas is about family and well we had momma and the kids with no daddy around. My vision of our ideal little Christmas was being shattered while I tried to hurry up and make a real Christmas for the kids, get last minute supplies and deal with the adopted child's holiday meltdowns which it is nice to read is normal.
All this while trying to find a new normal.
People don't really understand this part. When you have a new baby you get a lot of grace. When you adopt - well, you asked for this. Um, hello nope answered God's call, not really my idea LOL!
Folks, I can't for the life of me figure out how many plates to pull out at meal time.
3 times a day for almost a month and I still can't figure it out.
Laundry is a joke,
clothes - people my dang pictures are so messed up from Christmas because the dang kids didn't change their clothes for 2 or 3 days and I didn't even notice.
I can't find the envelopes for my gorgeous Christmas cards,
I still have to collect poop and pee from our angel.
We have been home a month and realized that although he wears 6-12 month clothes he has been dry for days and onsies do NOT work.
And my list of utter failures go on, and on, and on.
SO, I have come to conclusion that adoption is plain hard. No matter how perfect the picture, there are challenges. The best solution is a glass of wine and grace for yourself. And if you haven't read this post (not the videos although they are cute) you MUST!
When I change my haven's into accolades you know what ESHET CHAYIL!!
I traveled across the world for a baby I never met,
My kids love a complete stranger with all their hearts
I actually made 3 meals on the same day!
I loaded and unloaded the dishwasher on that same day!
I love my husband so much that I miss him when he is gone . . . .ESHET CHAYIL!!
So, as we enter the new year I am hoping to have a new perspective on my life and the incredible women around me (not vicinity), to encourage and lift up for what we have done!
You know some kids are jsut easy. Griffen is one of them. We have our adoption issues ~ mainly he likes jsut about anyone else over me which breaks my heart but then I get an evil laugh in my head and think Buddy another week and your stuck with me LOL!It's not even that bad,
you know he cries when I pick him up & he is sitting with JieJie,
cries when I discipline one of the other minions,
screams bloody murder when he has to take a shower,
or bath.
He was crying when I walked in the door so now he comes with me LOL!
He also smiles and laughs when I feed him,
falls asleep on my shoulder,
hugs our friends but if I put my coat on he is ready to come with me.
I guess it's a perspective thing. As long as I take my hurt feelings out of the equation, he has adapted nicely.
He is NOT banging his head on the wall,
scratching and clawing the siblings
wiping gross unmentionables everywhere
like some child who will remain nameless, did.
Griffen LOVES his brothers and sisters,
he plays with them all.
He is happy, happy, happy (except at bath time).
He didn't stress over Christmas,
loved his presents,
played with his toys,
loved the food.
Dude, the child is a dream
AND I thank GOD every day (not saying God wasn't their with Cav) but to be honest I spent more time praying over Griffen. I jsut couldn't have done another Cav.
And I sure couldn't have done a hard child right now.
Daddy sells guns, to say daddy hasn't been around much would be an understatement. We have not seen him except for Christmas day. In addition, he takes one of our two big kids to help him at the shop. Even with 20 employees it has been nuts. I had my meltdown, Christmas is about family and well we had momma and the kids with no daddy around. My vision of our ideal little Christmas was being shattered while I tried to hurry up and make a real Christmas for the kids, get last minute supplies and deal with the adopted child's holiday meltdowns which it is nice to read is normal.
All this while trying to find a new normal.
People don't really understand this part. When you have a new baby you get a lot of grace. When you adopt - well, you asked for this. Um, hello nope answered God's call, not really my idea LOL!
Folks, I can't for the life of me figure out how many plates to pull out at meal time.
3 times a day for almost a month and I still can't figure it out.
Laundry is a joke,
clothes - people my dang pictures are so messed up from Christmas because the dang kids didn't change their clothes for 2 or 3 days and I didn't even notice.
I can't find the envelopes for my gorgeous Christmas cards,
I still have to collect poop and pee from our angel.
We have been home a month and realized that although he wears 6-12 month clothes he has been dry for days and onsies do NOT work.
And my list of utter failures go on, and on, and on.
SO, I have come to conclusion that adoption is plain hard. No matter how perfect the picture, there are challenges. The best solution is a glass of wine and grace for yourself. And if you haven't read this post (not the videos although they are cute) you MUST!
When I change my haven's into accolades you know what ESHET CHAYIL!!
I traveled across the world for a baby I never met,
My kids love a complete stranger with all their hearts
I actually made 3 meals on the same day!
I loaded and unloaded the dishwasher on that same day!
I love my husband so much that I miss him when he is gone . . . .ESHET CHAYIL!!
So, as we enter the new year I am hoping to have a new perspective on my life and the incredible women around me (not vicinity), to encourage and lift up for what we have done!
I needed to read this tonight. I was asked recently just how did I think I was going to handle things when our angel gets home in June (give or take) and I honestly don't know. I'm a little nervous that it's going to be so hard, and you know what, it's ok if it is. That doesn't mean we messed up, it just means it's hard. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteI just had an adult temper tantrum/momma meltdown yesterday. I tried to school again after being off for almost 2 months since we were preparing for China, traveled and then the holidays. What was I thinking? 3 students, 1 preschooler and twin 18 month olds (one who just came home a month ago, as you know). It was too much. The stress just came to a head, I think. Isabel is a dream, like your Griffen, but it is still HARD! The daily demands on me seem to have doubled, even though we added only one more child. My husband's work has him gone a lot and most evenings. As always, I appreciate your honesty. Giving and receiving grace right now is paramount at our house! : )
ReplyDeleteLOVE you!!! and ohhh yes, sooooo hard! I was gone for a while yesterday, came home and received a temper tantrum from Elijah. I think he does it now so that I will sit and hold him tight. As he screamed I told him I loved him and told him not to be scared. After about 5 minutes he looked at me, and said, "I scared momma." Bless his heart! It's been a rough 1.5 yrs but ohhhh the healing happens day-by-day!!! <3 you and yes, grace!!! grace!! some of our family traditions are changing - just because I can't do it! (okay, I could do it - but it would end up stressful -so I am learning to say "no"! :)
ReplyDeleteYvette: You are a wonderful mama and I know that perfection runs in your veins. Right now especially, you deserve accolades for getting the kids fed...no matter what the meal or how easy it is and keeping your house standing! You have endured so many changes lately that survival mode is the safest. I appreciate the honesty. I feel like adding one has run me into the ground sometimes. I cannot imagine having three and adding three. You are a phenomenal woman! I love the weighted blankets, too. We are trying those with Raimey at preschool right now. Sensory issues seem to run in her blood as well. Hugs to you! ~Angie J.
ReplyDelete