BUT we have been back home for over a week and feel blessed that we were not affected by the fires.
For the most part our kids did fabulous - Cav lost his mind but it took a few days. We kept looking at each other (Chris and I) waiting for Mt Masuvios to blow. A word of warning, the longer it takes the worse it can be.
We kept going over and over about being a family and staying together BUT the change in routine, surroundings, daddy and my stress all mixed together for the daddy of all rages ~ in public of course.
Although people came close to us while we were trying to strap him into the stroller (after kicking Tao and Brahm with his legs OWWW) no one confronted us. We normally jsut leave, but both our older kids had championship games in Lacrosse and frankly we are tired of changing our plans to accomodate one little boy who hates the world (not that he doesn't have a right to.)
I think that is the hardest, people see Cav's legs and are horrified if we discipline him, or tell him no and make him act like the rest of the kids. BUT he IS part of a family now. It is not fair to the rest of the kids if we bowed to him, and besides his destroyed soul Cav's SN has been basically fixed. Versus say another one of our children who is degenerative.
Anyhow, we strapped him into the Bob stroller as he screamed his fool head off, and thanked God that Tristan games was the very far field so we could park Cav in the field jsut over the berm and walk away (we could still see him). We kept repeating to his demands "Once you stop screaming".
Since Cav's only commodity is school - he did not get to go on Monday. It's just summer school and their programs are all fun based (not catch up summer school of my days.)
When his teacher asked I explained school is our commodity and it is only for good boys. How refreshing for me that she GOT IT!! Of course it would be easier for me to drop him off, get rid of him for a few ours so to speak. However, someone once told me that all children have a commodity it is my responsibility to find it. For Cav, he couldn't care less what you feed him as long as he is full - and if he isn't he will sneak it. Sitting in his room, he doesn't care, but oh school now that is what gets him.
ANyhow, this all happened Father's Day and the week after. Hubby only has Sundays off, and for as long as we can remember Cav has melted down on Sundays. It makes us all not want to spend time together - but I refuse to allow us to take the easy way out - even though it is waring.
BUT he did it - this SUNDAY he didn't scream, he didn't rage and we all complimented him on how fun it was to have him join us. I am REALLY praying that he is getting it. BUT we have learned to rejoice in the small things.
Ok enough on our struggles.
We had a crazy busy week! We are homebodies. We love being home, we love jsut hanging out. Last week we had more people at our house than probably the entire year so far LOL!
My dear friend Jodi - whom I have met her older kids but not her. She came AND brought her newest littles! Oh how we have prayed for Howie who is now Hagan.
We enjoyed them all so much we hoped they would come back which they did!! TWo big families, lots of kids and really they all did so well together!!
2 families, 5 littles, 8 adopted (+1) |
Check out her post here!
Then we had 3 friends come up to the house - 2 live here and 1 is a FB friend who followed our journey to Cav and Fei and then adopted their beautiful girl Daisy!
Truly an amazing week, adoption brings families together and makes them instant friends!
Girl you do what you gotta do because if you don't do it now the task only gets harder as they get older. Praying one day his heart will heal and he will get that he has a family.
ReplyDeleteGlad to see you made it without any damage from the fires. Sorry about the meltdown, but I agree with the commenter above who said you do what you gotta do.
ReplyDelete~Ruth