Emerging

My new favorite saying is "The days are long but the years are short." 

I think all mom's have a special place in their heart for their oldest.  THe baby who changed the dynamics of the household from a couple - two individuals living a life together but fully capable of caring of themselves ~ to a family.  When a tiny little baby enters the picture- in our case fulfilling a dream we were unsure would happen - helpless, needy, and in so many cases forgiving of so many mistakes.

AS I look at the young man who turns 15 today, I can hardly figure out in my mind how this tiny baby born with so many possible complications is now taller than I.

Despite his size, it is heart, his gentle spirit that we are most proud of.  This boy of ours who had not walked into a church until 3rd grade now hears God calling him and my humanness realizes I must step aside.

I can honestly say that the changes we have seen in our boy over the last three years have been amazing.  Our journey through adoption and his two trips to China has opened up his eyes, it has shrunk the world, and dare I say lit a fire in his adventurous spirit.  It is so fitting that our oldest shares his birthdate with our official adoption date for Tao.

I know there will be many more nights of worry ahead, but also feel an excitement for what the future holds.  I know that there will be bumps along the way, and desperately pray for smooth sailing.  But already the man we see emerging astonishes us everyday.

The boy who hates pictures, I absolutely love this from his big hands to his adoring look

Celebrating our Fei!

I have to admit the past 2 birthdays for our daughter have been with so much heartache that I haven't really been able to celebrate.  The first one we were just days away from receiving her LOA and thinking she was being returned to the orphanage.  Then last year I had such a hard time celebrating because we know that this isn't really her birthday infact we are pretty sure it isn't even her birth month - probably more like Spring.

But this year we are celebrating!

We are celebrating this magnificent little creation that is the epitome of God's love and joy!

We are celebrating all of the people who have loved her along the way and the true treasures of finding little snip bits ~ from this pic from Half the Sky we found during our wait (on page 6)

To her pics from Madison's Camp Tiger 2

We are celebrating the dramatic changes in her life

from the scared little girl who "got on the bus and China momma was crying so hard"

TO a champion proud of herself and accomplishments

We are celebrating OUR daughter

 and all of the red threads along the way! 

Happy birthday sweet girl !

Her dream finally came true and she got her ears pierced!!

Love all the boys looking so thrilled for her!!

It is really shocking to sit for a sec and think where we were last year.

Cav was really still raging, and more wild child than son.

Can you believe he still had NOT had surgery for his legs - not for almost another month.

We had no idea his remaining tibia would be broken into 3 pieces and we would spend the summer in a cast with a rod ensuring he would heal correctly.  We suspected but had no idea his casts would only last on average 10 days and we spent many days driving to Denver for replacements.

Although we knew he would amaze us we had no idea it would only take 48 hours to learn to walk by himself with his new legs.

We still had no idea that his funky hands were actually a manifestation of mild Radial club hands, and that he would need surgery to "fix" them.

Although this is about our two youngest boys I have to add we had no idea Fei's spinal cord was compressed and would require "emergency" surgery on her spine and base of her skull.

We had no idea Cav would blow through his first knee in mere weeks, his first set of legs in months.

We had NOT even met Tao yet,

and no idea our sweet angel possessed the most glorious dimples AND the sweetest personality.

If you have followed us for any time, then you know that it has been a hard year.

Besides 5 surgeries, 14 casts, and more therapy visits than I can count, we also learned to set boundaries.

Truthfully, it probably has been the hardest year of my life.  Requiring the most personal growth I have ever experienced.

I laugh when I think back over the year and think "What the heck were we thinking adopting during such turmoil."

But more importantly, I can see that for much of the past year, God carried our family and me specifically.  The rest of the time He guided me, molding and shaping.

And as we celebrate an absolutely crazy weekend.

I can truly smile and feel blessed.

Friday the 10th ~ Tao's hand surgery to remove his extra thumbs.  We were very blessed that the surgeon was able to transfer the muscle from the "claw" to his real thumb (instead of doing the same surgery as Cav needed)

Saturday the 11th - I lost my mind and we somehow ended up with a new puppy (yeah we were looking for a kitten!)

Cav turned 5 on the 12th (mother's day)  I shudder to think what his life would be like if he hadn't become our son.  And I am thrilled to say those very hard fought words.

Tao turned 3 on the 13th.  So special to celebrate his very first birthday with his family.  It was also very emotional since Friday was his surgery, the very reason he was abandoned.  (I don't believe they had any idea he was also a dwarf.)  We are blessed to have a newborn picture of our sweet screaming baby.  But to think a "simple surgery" which only took two hours changed the course of our sweet angels life.

Happy Birthday boys ~ we truly love you!

The boys and their puppy (post coming)

How many littles does it take to put together a car!

Big Brother's are great for going fast!

Heehee now that's the way to ride in his new firetruck!

Mom and dad searched HIGH & low for a hand powered ride on

It's a little smaller than we thought but it'll work for this year
You turn the handles back and forth to make it go forward 

I am so cute!

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:13-14 NIV

Updates and prayers

I-800A ~ YEAH!  We were able to walk in this morning and got our fingerprints done in about 15 minutes!  I immediately called to have them add this information to our file, so we hope to be approved soon!  Kind of getting excited - so close, jsut a few more steps.

Tao ~ Our kids couldn't believe that we were already almost done with the paperwork.  It was nice because we were able to use their comments as a teaching moment about God and His ability to move mountains.  I hope once little man Tao is home, they will always be able to look at him and remember the mountains that God moved to bring Tao home  and what HE will do for them.

Brahm ~ Please pray for my sweet little guy.  AS you saw in the movie yesterday he LOVES jumping out of the swing.  Today his sleeve got caught and he landed on his back.  I went through the whole body check, BUT he is now complaining about a headache.  Please pray for this sweet, sweet angel of mine, he has such an incredible spirit but such a tiny body (barely 30 lbs at almost 6).

Cav ~ His BIG day is tomorrow - his 4TH Birthday.  As the day has gotten closer we have gotten more and more excited.  

He also gets it.  Today he brought daddy the picture we had printed of his cake we sent to China.

We invited several of our little friends to come celebrate the day (although not a true birthday party as we have found it is to stressful still for them.)  Just pizza, . . . pop (our kids never get pop LOL), . . . cookies and playing outside on the tramp, swingset and his very special present!

Since Cav & Tao's birthday are a day apart (and we had rewards to use up) we got them something that we thought Cav can use shortly after his surgery.

BUT it's supposed to SNOW! 

ugh are you kidding me!

Please pray that the weather patterns change and we can still have our friends come over at 4pm on Sat.

Daddy's big day!

Whew what a packed 24 hours!

I co-lead the women's ministry at our church, and in November I made the committment to help host the wonderful ladies on our team for a thank you dinner.  This has been the first real night event we have done since we got home.  It also left without an evening to help the kids with everything they needed to accomplish.

Today was daddy's birthday AND daddy day with FeiFei at school.  Soooo, I got my older kids to help make a card for daddy, help FeiFei decorate the hat they needed for school, and find her a daddy outfit.  They also decided to decorate the - ummm - the burnt slightly dark cake which I couldn't serve the ladies and left for the kids to devour.

When I got home, I found this cake - heehee those are grapes on top, and I have NO IDEA where they found frosting!

A darling card which was a collaborative effort.

 FeiFei this morning in her cute little Daddy's busy bee shirt, waiting to show her beloved Baba his hat! We realized this week she had no idea what a daddy was since have maintained the Chinese term for daddy - Baba.  So we tried to explain that daddy and Baba were the same.

Gotta love this hat!!

So cute together!

Makes me fall in love with this man all over again!

13 years ago today . . .

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. ~Rajneesh

13 years ago today my greatest dream came true and I became a mother.

A tiny baby at just 5 lbs was born to us after a very difficult pregnacy.  The fact this tiny baby had survived and was "normal" was a miracle in it's own right. 

More importantly though, this sweet little baby made me a mom and us a family.  He solidified my place in the world more than any other occurance I can think of.

What a hefty responsibility was placed on his little shoulders. 

I think as with any first-born I look at all my failings with him.  So many things I once worried about, now no longer matter.  Somehow, God knew to send me the sweetest most forgiving young man as my first.

He is a nurturer

He is smart, athletic and funny

I love his friends and the person he is around them

He is accomplished, playing sports, acting, cello and trumpet.

This big boy still leans up to me and says "love you mom" atleast once a day.  I am so blessed to have him as my son, and so excited to see the man he becomes!

Happy 13th birthday Buggy, you are such a treasured part of our family (now if we can jsut get you to take a birthday pic!)

Little Man turns 5!!

I can't believe that our little man is 5!!  I can remember vividly going into my Dr's office, getting an ultrasound and being told that his head was 2 weeks over sized and his limbs were 6 weeks short.  As a nurse I immediately knew that they were signs of dwarfism.  I was distraught and had only 5 hours until he would be born.  Oh how I grieved over the news, and my sweet husband being my rock.  Little did I know how amazing our little guy would be.  We are so blessed to have him in our lives and although I can say I wouldn't change him, I would give anything to take away his chronic pain (he has one of the only types of dwarfism with pain.)

Now mind you he is our third and I would have been horrified if anyone ever told me I would be using snowman paper to wrap his birthday presents IN AUGUST - but hey what's a mom to do late at night when she thought it was actually holiday spiderman paper and he wouldn't really notice ugh!!

And his funny for the day - I told him all the well wishes he had from emails, texts and facebook.  He said "I am on facebook - I must be FAMOUS!!"

Happy Birthday little man, you have changed all of those around you with your joy and infectious personality.  Most importantly you taught your daddy and I that we can handle much more than we ever thought.  You are the reason we pursued adoption & I hope someday you will truly understand what an amazing gift you to this world!