His hands

Our journey is coming full circle,

AND I didn't even see it sneaking up on me.

Regardless of age,
when you meet your child for the first time (ok maybe not the big ones LOL)
you look them over,
counting fingers,
toes,
learning about them,
the uniqueness of your own child.

But sometimes that discovering comes with great sadness.
It wasn't the 9 toes
or the misshapen feet.
We were ok with the knee that just hung.

But the hands
oh his hands would become the catalyst to some of the hardest days in my life.

Those hands that were odd,
a thumb that looked like a finger
thumbs that were jsut as wobbly as his knee.
ALL unknown to us.

I spent hours on the internet researching
in the fog I remembered that 4 limbs affected = a syndrome.
And the scars
and the bruises.
In the dark days of China
I worried of syndromes.

I now realize that without the hands
we would have been in a very different place
with him.

Would we have bonded faster?

And then home,
hands that didn't function,
unable to push a wheelchair,
or a walker.

Hands adapted to a raking grasp
instead of pincer.

And many Dr's all with different answers.
A year, 5 diagnoses.
and FINALLY an answer.

Tomorrow we fix those hands.
A journey of 15 1/2 months
And a lifetime of soul work.

THis is not a misprint, you can see the thumb muscle lacking,
- the long finger like thumb
- The extra space between his first two digits.