Gyro-Stim update - Did it work?

That's the question we get over and over.

I just couldn't post

A part of me just didn't want to get my hopes up - I know that sounds odd BUT how many times over the last 4 years have we had some hope for it to be dashed.

In addition, his therapist had warned we were getting close to residential treatment.  I think deep down that thought scared me so much that I felt I was standing on the edge of a cliff and afraid if I breathed wrong we would go over.

BUT we have been long enough out of treatment, and past the mark where any brain rewiring would occur that I believe I can start to hope.

Even my very stoic husband looked at me one day and said "what happened to him."  Everything from Cav's voice to his facial appearance has changed.  Friends have noticed it, his teachers have noticed it, and most importantly the kids have.

In school he had no friends (not for a lack of trying on their part - they wanted to love him but he would be mean or hurt them.)  He had to sit by himself at lunch and in the classroom (again not a lack of trying on everyone's part).  And at home he never was able to play with the kids longer than 20 minutes before he was raging or someone was bleeding.  He couldn't be around our littles anymore without strict supervision because of harm he caused them.  Really, we were at a point where I was wondering if he had been better off in the orphanage - and that statement goes against ever fiber of my being.

In one word we were DESPERATE!

I have to admit that I am also MAD - how have I never heard about the vestibular system, why after all those therapies did no one treat that area?

ANYHOW - here is what our life looks like now.

We made the mistake of doing the process over Valentine's Day and a day off of school.  This was a disruption in our routine and lost some hope because he went back to his typical of stealing, raging etc.  In hindsight he always has had a hard time with holidays.

We ended the treatments in February (it was 7 treatments over 3 weeks.)

The beginning of March is when my husband made the comment - and try it was like having a new boy.  I even caught myself thinking - I actually like this kid.  He is funny and charming.

I went back and forth on what to do for our spring break - as we had the opportunity to attend a disability ski weekend.  Truly in the last 4 years Cav has not done much - he screams or rages every time we go out in public so we have found it better for him and our sanity to leave him home with a sitter.  BUT it broke my heart each time the trauma wore off of his latest action.  (and before you comment let me give you a visual - My very large husband having to carry a screaming chinese kid through IKEA where there is no quick exit, all the while he is flinging his titanium legs at anything he can get close too.  I am trying to calm the other kids and get them out. - NOT a fun Sunday afternoon for anyone.)

So we signed him up along with 3 of the other kids.  He had been acting so good.  And considering the circumstances he actually did pretty well on the trip.  We had some regression and hiccups.  BUT when we left to come home together I saw a change in him, a peace almost.  It's hard to explain but thinking back I am wondering if the hiccups were due to him being worried that he was going away for treatment.

Then we arrived home from Skiing and headed right into Easter - I do NOT know what it has been about Easter that has set this kid off - BUT he has never been able to make it to the family egg hunt.  He would be in his room raging by noon EVERY YEAR!  But this year he did it!!  It got to hunt for egg, and enjoy the whole day with the family!!

It has been 2 weeks since then and we still see a new kid.  It has been odd though - it's like he missed the last 4 years and is just now waking up from a fog.  Things he will ask are like a preschooler.  Socially, the mistakes he is making (primarily at school) again like a preschooler.  The lucky thing is he is grasping the rules and the why's and quickly accommodating his behavior to that.

Another blessing is the kids in his class are holding him accountable - God really has answered that prayer and the walls and boundaries are clear as day to him.

As for home life - he is not hoarding food for the most part.  He is finally grasping the fact that the fruit tower on the table is available anytime, as is the rice that is always in the cooker.  The greatest change is his awareness that there are others around him.  I almost sat int he driveway and cried when I saw him take Remy's hand, and gently guide him into the house.  In the past he would walk in front of others, knocking them over or even pushing them.

We still have a long way to go - but we are finding a boy we never knew existed.  One that wants to help, to be around the family.  A hard worker that also wants to go out and play with his brothers.  The best part is - he has had some consequences over the last 2 weeks for making poor choices.  He has been able to handle those and move on versus the downward spiral that would last weeks and months.

Although I didn't want to admit it - Gyro-stim changed our life for the better!!

Gyro-Stim day 2 & 3 (and day 4)

Ugh I downloaded the new update and can't figure out where my pictures went!!

God has been a huge blessing.  Before our 2nd appointment I asked the head of PT who happened to be there when Remy had therapy what she thought.  Her son - was a test subject for when this was being developed!!  She also said she would make some calls to to the developer!

Day one we had some issues because of Cav's minimally functional thumbs using the laser pointer.  They ride the gyro-stem 5 times and each time they do something along with the ride, to engage the brain more.

In addition to using the light pens to hit the targets they have to say a word - this also changes each time.  She wanted him to tell the story of his favorite movie - which he can not do.  He also has issues trying to get the pens to work that he misses the targets and then doesn't say anything.  We had some kinks to work out.  I am still a skeptic and not sure I am seeing much.


DAY 3 - so we did 3 sessions ~ 3 days in a row.  I do have to say the office staff is making me nuts.  I wish Dr offices would realize that a patients entire perception of their abilities rest on the first 5 min you the walk in the door.  Hiring incompetent front desk is such a downfall.

I do like the therapist that helps Cav get into the machine and think through some of the difficulties. on the way to the office we practiced a story so he could use this as one of his speaking parts.

Each session they up the speed on the gyro-stim and today they also did the full summersault - we were a little worried he would get sick but so far so good (and we wait to eat until after.)

Each session is only a minute long so it's really expensive if you figure the $$$$ per hour we are paying LOL!  We were assured by the head of PT that there were far worse ways for us to spend our money, and I am still hoping we see some improvement based on the research I posted about yesterday on the vestibular system.

Can still spends most of his time trying to get the targets - especially now that he is flipping around in all directions - so I am a little worried its not working as well as it possibly can.  But I am trusting that God has laid this before me so many times, that possibly this is where we need to be.

DAY4 - no gyro-stim today, we are actually done with week 1.  I did an extended leave form school for Cav while we did this in hopes that maybe bringing him back, calming his world would somehow help to reset him.  They initially said he would be incredibly tired after each session, and I didn't want to add to his stress levels.  All that to say he really hasn't been in his typical environment and around peers much.  Just he and I  LOL!  Today all the kids had off from school AND it was gorgeous outside.  Typically, Cav has to be supervised form hurting the other kids, but it was so nice I sent him out with them.  The first thing I noticed was he actually sought one out and ran after them as they rode their bike on the driveway.  I did my typical of sitting in my office and watched, waiting the 15-20 min before he started screaming or hurting someone.  The big kids were outside too to ensure someone came and told me immediately.

As all moms do, I got busy, I left the office and went to make lunch, laundry (also a front of the house window, etc.  I would periodically yell out the front door to make sure everyone was OK and everyone was playing nicely.  You know as a mom, you check out the window, yell out the door but the number of times really doesn't add up, all of a sudden I looked at the clock and realized 2 hours had passed.

TWO HOURS

I can NOT think of a time that he has lasted longer than 20 - - MAYBE 30 minutes without a full blown rage or someone coming in hurt.

TWO HOURS!!! and everyone agreed that Cav was being nice and playing appropriately.  REALLY ?!?  Seriously, spanish inquisition and not one child young or old said he had hurt them, said something inappropriate or refused to share.

THIS is huge.  Is this working?  Can I really begin to hope again??  Time will tell.
I keep going back though to the statement "This knowledge is called “gravitational security,”and with this basic sense of stability, children develop emotional security."

Gyrostim - hope or more heartache. Day 1

So Cav received an autism diagnosis just over a year ago.  He doesn't really have typical autism but persistent institutional autism.  He met every marker for the diagnosis and quite frankly if it helps us get resources for him then I am fine with the label.

About 4 months after, we went to an autism fair, and looked around, ended up with a huge stack of pamphlets and truly left more confused then when we started.  It's a new language, that quite frankly I don't speak.  Also because it is institutional and not organic (is that right?) he doesn't fit what people think of autism.  Throw a little RAD in the mix and well, we don't have a typical child or a typical "cure."

Before I begin - I want to reiterate that deep down I believe Cav has the most potential out of all our kids.  There is something about him.  Everyone who meets him on his lucid days - walk away with their life changed.  Seriously - at 4 he walked independently within 48 hours of receiving his new legs.  Cav's special need is not, nor has it ever really been his legs, his limbs.  

That being said - it has been 4 very, very long years.  We have tried and failed to help him.  We are weary, and as time marches on we are more and more fearful of what the future holds for this child.  I am not the same person I was when we went to China to adopt him.  We do Not regret the decision of bringing him home - as we know without a doubt he would have been dead 3 1/2 years ago.  It's that helplessness you can never understand unless you are standing at the edge of the abyss and your child sinks lower and lower and nothing you do is working.  So we look for new things, and pray, and hope.

So I spoke to one vendor at the Autism fair and although their speil sounded cool, the sticker shock alone was enough to deter me.  However I took their pamphlet and went on my way.  You wouldn't even believe it if I told you almost a year later that stupid pamphlet shows up time to time in my car.  I keep thinking I throw it away and then a month or so later there it is again in the passenger seat.

Recently, I was talking to a friend about this program and she had heard form another friend about amazing results her sons friend had, had with this program.  She then tagged me on Facebook about the same time the article was going around about early childhood neglect and how different the brains looked on MRI.

I finally decided to call and get some information.  Today was our first session.  We agreed to it because it has a finite end.  We aren't talking open ended therapy over weeks, months and years.  It's 3 weeks.  7 sessions.  We also agreed because the program was invented locally, by a dad, also looking into the abyss.  Desperately wanting to help his daughter.  I can NOT find ANY research about this and early neglect.  So I put my nursing hat on and sat down with my information, their information and came up with a hypothesis (can you tell we are in stinking science fair season LOL!)

Here goes - Gyro-stim affects the vestibular area of the brain.  Ultimately it works along the principles of working the brain until fatigue so that the brain will regenerate itself the same as if we were lifting weights.  Ultimately it is hoped that as the brain muscle repairs itself from the workout, it will rewire, or change the wiring.  BUT and here is why I am hopeful this will work.

I found this information on nspt4kids.com (I found other sites with similar info but this one was the ~lightbulb where I could check off parts.

http://nspt4kids.com/healthtopics-and-conditions-database/vestibular-processing/

WHAT IS THE VESTIBULAR SYSTEM?

The vestibular system detects movement and gravitational pull, and it provides information regarding the position of our head in space and acceleration and deceleration of movement. It is the first sensory system to fully develop in uteroandis located in the inner ear. The vestibular system has strong neurological connections in the brain and is a major organizer of varied sensory input. This system is considered the most influential sensory system and has tremendous impact on one’s ability to function daily. Directly or indirectly, the vestibular system influences nearly everything we do. It is the unifying system in our brain that modifies and coordinates information received from other systems, and it functions like a traffic cop, telling each sensation where and when it should go or stop.  Read a blog on the Vestibular Senses by clicking here.

HOW DOES THIS SYSTEM FUNCTION?

This system affects aspects of physical function like posture, balance, movement, coordination, attention, arousal level, impulsivity and behavior. The vestibular system works with tactile, auditory, and visual information to give us our perception of space and our position and orientation within that space. Children affected by poor vestibular processing may be perceived as inattentive, lazy, overly anxious, or seeking attention. They may have trouble reading or doing simple arithmetic. Functioning at school, going out into the community, performing routine daily tasks, or just getting out of bed in the morning may be difficult for children with vestibular difficulties.

WHAT CAUSES POOR VESTIBULAR PROCESSING?

Poor vestibular processing (or vestibular dysfunction) can occur for a variety of reasons; often, however, children develop a vestibular disorder for no known reason. Possible causes for vestibular dysfunction include: premature birth and a fairly long period of incubation after birth, exposure to excessive movement or invasive sounds as a fetus or infant, neglect (little handling and moving) during infancy, repeated ear infections or severe ear infections, maternal drug or alcohol abuse during pregnancy, or general developmental delay and immature development of the nervous system.

WHAT ARE SOME SYMPTOMS OF POOR VESTIBULAR PROCESSING?

Symptoms and functional difficulties of poor vestibular processing include:

• Over-arousal or under-arousal
• Excessive movement
• Avoiding movement at all costs
• Difficulty maintaining attention
• Motion sickness (car, boat, airplane), dizziness or nausea caused by watching things move
• Excessive spinning or excessive watching of things spin
• Inability to read or write in cursive
• Decreased auditory processing
• Inability to sustain listening without moving or rocking
• Problems with balance (static or moving) and/or vertigo
• Difficulty walking on uneven ground, and difficulty navigating stairs
• Head banging
• History of traumatic brain injury, shaken child syndrome, ear cuffing, etc.

WHY IS THIS SYSTEM IMPORTANT?

The vestibular system primes the entire nervous system to function effectively by sending messages to the higher centers of the brain. When the influences of vestibular stimuli fail to reach their destinations, they cannot adequately contribute to sensory integration. One result of depressed vestibular processing is hypotonicity (low muscle tone); when this system is not integrating information as it should and muscle tone is decreased, it is difficult to initiate movement or to maintain muscle tension during movement, resulting in significant difficulties in fine/gross and oral motor coordination.

The vestibular system also tells us where we are in relation to the ground, giving us a confidence that if we jump, swing, or somersault, we know we will hit the ground on our way down. Thisknowledge is called “gravitational security,”and with this basic sense of stability, children develop emotional security.

A child with dysfunctional vestibular processing, who does not possess “gravitational security,” tends to be inflexible, fearful and controlling due to the fact that he lacks control over the world around him and how he moves through it. This child often suffers from social problems as well, as he feels vulnerable to unpredictable situations caused by those around him. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If I had to list the biggest areas of need for Cav - they fall under this AND um the paragraph above - gravitational security = emotional security.  Seriously, why am I just now hearing about this!!

So, we also thought insurance was going to pay for about 1/2.  Except our gold plated insurance got rolled over last month and what changed but the therapies.  We signed up for our sessions and then got the phone call that ultimately insurance was paying a whopping $5 per session.  I wanted to cry, cancel and say forget it.  HOW could we justify something that is so controversial, AND will be such a expense for the family.  In addition, I am happy to pay for medical things that work.  BUT I never want to get to the point where I am throwing money at a problem just to make myself feel better about me.  I really had to sit down and make sure that this was NOT what was going on.

Even after the first session, I am not entirely sold on the fact that we aren't doing that.  Thus the reason for me actually blogging.  But the last 2 paragraph's above (highlighted) push me along, in hopes that this is the answer.

We have 3 appointments this week, and then 2 each of the next 2 weeks.
gyrostim.com, http://www.denverpost.com/ci_23370920/gyrostim-spinning-chair-may-help-concussion-recovery-no-fda-approval-yet


Day 1 - because of Cav's thumbs - using the laser wasn't the best option and needs to be reevaluated for tomorrow.  He enjoyed it, and tried his best.  By the 4th session we could see in his eyes he was losing it a bit (we were told to expect this).  We did get permission from the school for him to just miss class on the days he has treatment as we were unsure of how tired he would be.

I will update tomorrow.

A little glitch - well. . .

Ugh just as I posted last week about our little man - we got a phone call from the international adoption clinic - - at 5:30 at night (never good.)

I held the phone stunned - he had some positive test results.

The prognosis was not good.

Of course I was on my way out the door for school conferences.  I cried the 30 minutes it took to drive, wiped my tears and pulled up my big girl panties ( BTW apparently devastating news for one means you have the best conferences of your life for the other four LOL!)

Children's Hospital was able to get us in the super clinic (for very medically needy kids) within 3 days (this usually takes weeks or months) AND with the most amazing DR within TWO days.  This quote explained why the rush (notice the date).

And that's when we hit our little glitch LOL - We went for what I thought was a meet and greet ( 1 1/2 hours from our home) and we ended up being admitted.  It was really the only way to get the blood work, spinal tap, abdominal ultrasound, EEG, MRI and consults with every specialty in the hospital.

I had all of $20 and no working credit card with me (yes mother of the year BUT I did run to Target to get Remy's cups that he can drink from and a lovey - leaving me with $6 LOL).

The rush for Remy was we needed to start massive doses of antibiotics but you can NOT do that until you know what you are working with.  In our case, what he tested positive for has basically been iradicated in children since the 1940's to 1960's.  Most people had never seen a case in real life, and those that had, had seen the ravages of this disease in adults as they went mad.  In the US, mom's are all tested and newborns are treated immediately - to see this in an almost 5 year old well, not good.  It's a progressive disease (not contagious) which attacks the bones, organs and brian.

I wavered between being REALLY, REALLY mad at China (his file clearly states he was negative - everyone agrees this is impossible.) and so glad we had expedited and rushed to bring him home.  Even in the four months since we had him, we started seeing a decline, not in his amazing personality, but he was losing the few abilities he had - like putting his shoes on, or taking his sunglasses off and putting them in the basket.  I started noticing him standing there - like he knew he was supposed to be doing something but not being able to recall.  More and more we saw him standing with his hands clasped together like a grandpa - it was becoming heartbreaking.

When your child who is almost 5 functions at 14-18 months and you start losing skills you scream at the unfairness.  This child already has so much to deal with, his albinism makes him legally blind, he has no language except echoing, and now we are going to lose that too?

So although the admission was not ideal, I was glad to see we at least had some direction,  We saw every specialty from hearing, opthomology to neuro and genetics.

AND we saw that just maybe God needed us in that building at that time.  We were admitted through the ER so Remy could have a spinal tap done.  The Dr who did that - he is adopting from Bulgaria.  I was able to talk to him, to guide him as to why Remy doesn't cry when he gets blood drawn and to answer questions.

A friend texted me that they were admitting her son, he ended up having even more devastating news than we received (on a different timeline), I was able to hug her neck as she received the MRI results, alone and away from home.

And I got to teach a lot of medical people, and lots of students.  My heart is teaching - and Remy, he has several diagnoses that most people will never see in their entire career.  From his nystagmus, and even albinism, to his echolalia, and blood results.

AND that speck - yes that is a Ladybug on our window - 8 floors up - in November.  Only God!!

And on the 3rd day, after finally placing his PICC line, we were able to start his major doses of antibiotics - not some expensive designer antibiotic - nope the cure is penicillin.  A $5 drug that even an orphanage could have provided.  This treatment will hopefully stop the destruction to his body, but what has been destroyed - - well, prayer is our best option.

So four long days we spent in the hospital (which really was nothing but for the being unprepared with 7 other kids at home LOL!) Our village stepped up, feeding our kids, loving on our family, and bringing me coffee.  I have often have a very hard time accepting help - I can do this myself, in my best 2 year old voice, has been my mantra.

And the lesson God kept telling me - Let them Bless you, LET THEM HELP.  Just as YOU went to China to do my work, they are doing my work by blessing your family.

That, my friends, was my lightbulb moment.  I recently heard the best quote -
"Who are you to tell ME what a Blessing is?" -God

THankfully, I was able to convince the hospital that I still had my Nursing license and there was no reason we couldn't do the round the clock IV antibiotics at home with a PICC (central line).  We are still processing all that has come about - what this entails for our sweet angel, and our family.

I do have an overwhelming sense of peace.  I think because all of this, along with the craziness of our family was the proverbial last straw.  Although the back that was broken was my need for control - and with that God said -finally!

Yes . . .we are alive

So, I actually had a reader track me down and what she asked broke my heart - did we disrupt?

NO!!  We have our little guy home

He is sweet, happy and truly one of God's gems.

Racing to to do all of his paperwork AND raise the $30,000 needed to adopt him  - - in just over 5 1/2 months just about did me in BUT we met Remington (Remy) the very end of June.

From the time he walked through the door we knew he was severally delayed.  He looked like a baby who just learned to walk.

Oh but his soul - so sweet,
His spirit - so happy.
And of course we were in love.

Our time in China was hard - we were expecting a child that potentially was ill, but on target for an almost 5 ear old (or close.)  The truth was he couldn't navigate steps, had little ability to walk AND due to a last minute change Brahm went with me instead of Morgan.  This trip was hard.

Oh but this beautiful boy was so worth it.  And interestingly, because he looks very European in his facial features, everyone just assumed he was our birth child.  We never had any issues with the Chinese being mean to him or about him.

These two are 6 months apart in age, and a world apart in ability.  Tao has stepped into his role of big brother and has been amazing.

Remy is legally blind due to his albinism.  He sees well enough to get around which has been fabulous for our family.  Our kids are amazing - taking his hand and telling him up or down in Mandarin when he gets to steps etc.  Remy REALLY needed a family, he was so neglected and needs so much sensory input, so he is the perfect child in this crazy large family of ours.  Someone to always play with him, teach him, guide him.  

We have SOOOO far to go, but I know for a fact that this little boy needed to come home, and God has incredible plans for him.

(Don't worry I will be back soon, we are facing some pretty major changes over the next few weeks.)

Freedom

I think I blogged about Camp No limits we went to in Janurary.  Cav was able to try out a set of running blades there and in typical Cav fashion he was running on his own in 3 passes.  

HE LOVED THEM!!

Unfortunately they are $20,000 A PIECE.

And insurance deems them cosmetic.

I don't care whether we are adopting again or not, I just can't justify $40,000 for running blades.

Anyhow, Colorado offers a running clinic through Hangar prosthetics

we went last year.

It was great but almost everyone there has a "good leg"

blah, blah, push off with your good leg etc.

In addition, if they were bilateral, they had their own knees.

It was frustrating for him, and for me.

With Cav's history he WANTS to run, 

BEING AN AMPUTEE doesn't make Cav different,

His inability to RUN makes him different.

When the people from Hangar called this year I told them flat out, 

I couldn't subject Cav to knowing he can run with blades 

but us not being able to acquire a pair for him yet. 

(we missed the grant application which ended in Dec.)

The nicest woman - who puts on this event took it upon herself to beg, borrow and plead for a pair of running blades for Cav.

We went from a pair being donated, to the only pediatric pair were in Iceland?!?!

They finally were able to pull an adult pair (similar to what he had tried before) 

OFF the production line for him!!

When we arrived - they were waiting for him to rebuild his legs so he could also run.

Many said he couldn't because these were for 120 lb person and Cav is 48 lbs.

I told them to give him a chance.

He smiled,

He RAN,

He beamed!!

(we are praying that we can get him a pair in the next few months that are made for his weight.)

This sweet puppy is 5 mod old and Tao LOVED her!

I HAVE THIS!

We are DTC for Superman and were LID on 4/14.

The US expedited his adoption and now we are praying that China does the same.  If that is the case we leave in the next month to 6 weeks I am guessing.  If they don't (LOA's have significantly come down in time) I am still praying for August.

I know it's his timing, and He has always timed it just right in the past!

However, this post is about so much more.  This is about HIS provisions as well as His plan.

In June, there was a kickstarter that intrigued me - self tying water balloons.  THey had an opportunity as  part of their kickstart to become a wholesaler when their product hit the market.  AS a mom of 7 kids I knew this product would sell.  I am forever harassing my husband to get kid friendly products by the register of their men's store.  I figured this would be a great product to have up there.  In addition, the amount of money to buy in basically was covered by the product so it was financially a smart choice.  Besides in June we were good to go - remember no MORE kids was our mantra.  NOT even a thought in our heads of reusing.  That door wasn't just closed, it was unseen.

So I paid my money to kickstart the project and really pretty much forgot about it.

When we committed to Superman, my hubby's said I would have to figure out how to pay for it.  He is dealing with a new business start up and a large part of his salary has gone to that.  Although we were fine as a family, there just was not the $30,000 to bring superman home.  With an expedite - we had even less time to earn, save and raise that amount of money.

(STAY WITH ME - this is NOT a plea for $$$ I promise)

So I started making things to sell - dolls, coffee cozies, asking for funds to our Reece's Rainbow account, selling the kids clothes at the JBF sale - whatever I could think of.  And each time I felt like I was running into a mild roadblock.  Not a huge shut door, because things did sell but not at the rate we would need to get superman home.  In addition, with 7 kids, making the dolls and coffee cozies meant super late nights for me or time away from the kids in a big way.  All of which I was happy to do to bring this little guy home, but I slowly started to see the house suffer, and the kids act out.

I was feeling hopeless, I was begging God to answer my plea's.

I started second guessing if Superman was ours.

At the same time our paperwork was seeming to take forever, not huge roadblocks but a bunch of minor ones that added up to weeks.

And then that box of balloon's showed up - and I posted them on Facebook and sold a few, I listed them on Etsy and something miraculous happened.  The balloon's began to sell.  I needed to order more to keep up with the demand.  Then I made the fun starbucks cups and they began to sell.  Both super easy and quick.

 (did I forget to mention that when a huge box of 75 packs of water balloons showed up my husband was sure I was certifiable.  He is the realist, I am the dreamer, the chance taker.  I never doubted this product was amazing, and moms and dads would want them.  He thought we would be gifting balloons for the next 30 years LOL!)

Between all of the orders, and the previous ones from the dolls and coffee cozies, AND our paperwork finally getting to China - I suddenly feel like we are making huge progress.

And all that time when I was begging with God -

 He was saying I HAVE THIS!  

I knew how We were going to pay for this adoption

 before I ever asked you to adopt this child.  

BELIEVE in me!